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Review:apocalypse says:
Hey! This is apocalypse, here with your review!

I've read quite a few Next Gen stories and I've seen people write Al's character in many ways. Your version of his characters was also quite different and it was interesting to see how he's so close to Teddy and not his brother. I like the general idea of your story and even though it doesn't really focus on much, it's a light story with a fun plot line and is executed nicely. I like reading the whole piece =)

You don't need to worry about Al's characterization. As you've said in your concerns, this version of him is quite different than what we usually see but it's a good change. However, one thing I did not really understand is, why is Albus so bitter? I mean, I can understand the feelings he has for his brother and that he wanted to enjoy his holidays but I did not understand his bitter thoughts and the general flow of his feelings. I mean I don't think that his parents, especially Harry would allow any sort of unhappy feelings to stay in his children's minds. He would try to make sure that they're happy no matter what, right?

Anyway, I did like you characterization of Harry. It was fun to see him unable to speak in favour of Albus in front of his wife and it was even interesting to see him talk to Teddy as father figure. I really liked the way you've created the relationship between Harry and Teddy; it shows how much Ted respects his godfather and how frank they are with each other. There's another little twist you added there with Teddy saying all that to Harry. I was quite surprised to realise that Teddy's right.. He really could want all that, and that it's not wrong of him. I wasn't as ecstatic as Albus =P, but I was still happy to see this new take on Teddy's and Victoire's relationship. Good idea there =)

Your descriptions were fantastic throughout the chapter! =) I could see that you've paid great attention to detail and that there were little errors. They way you described his feelings overall was very good and I liked the fact that you maintained the balance between emotional description and general descriptions. Good job!

The story is definitely interesting. I can't really say much at the moment seeing as there wasn't much on the original plot of the story but I can say that it's an interesting start and I would like to know how you carry on with Albus' character! =)

I hope you like this review and it helps you =) Feel free to re-request! Until next time, good luck and happy writing! =D

Author's Response: Hello! Thanks for your considered, detailed and constructive review. It is much appreciated.

I'm pleased you liked what I did with Albus overall. It's a shame he came across as bitter, though. I was attempting to portray him as a regular teenage boy - just a bit sulky when things don't go his way, and interpreting everything he doesn't like as unfair. That's not to say I think he's unpleasant, just... immature at times.

The theme of the story is the rumour that Al is about to start about Teddy and Victoire. We'll watch it make it's way through the family, and we'll see how various members of the extended Weasley/Potter family react to it. So, I'm glad it seemed like a solid start.

I was thrilled that you liked what I did with Harry, as it's my first shot at writing him as an adult - I've written him a lot, but immediately post Hogwarts which has quite a different feel. I was also really happy that you had some sympathy for Teddy, and he didn't come across badly. Although let's remember, Al didn't hear the whole conversation:-)

I was also so pleased that you liked my descriptions. I just love writing something that puts the reader in the thick of the action, so it's great to know I've got it right.

Chapter 2 is nearly written, and I hope to get it on the queue soon. I would be delighted to know what you think moving forward, so look out for me on your review thread soon:-)

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