Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:Pixileanin says:
I loved the scene with the men jumping out of the airplane. I think it was your strongest descriptive moment yet, going through the motions of getting ready, following each one as they left the airplane, and then following the action along as Evans went through the air and landed on the ground. Really superb here!

I read the other reviews regarding the erumpet horns, and I must respectfully disagree with them. Even though we (the crazy HP fans) would love for you to go into more detail about why these erumpet horns behaved differently from the ones described in canon, I think that for this story, what you did was enough. They were on a battlefield, Dumbledore was giving them instructions, and quite frankly, the Muggles wouldn't care, nor would they even have known the difference. I like it as it stands.

Also loved the descriptions of the battlefield as the men made their way to their mission. It really put me in the middle of things here. I also liked that Evans had a bit of trouble with the matches. If you had taken more time with that little section, it might have heightened the suspense there.

Dietrich's reluctance to report the anomalies to Grindelwald explained a lot for me as to how Dumbledore was able to continue his missions without too much resistance. It was a great time for Dietrich to put the pieces together and investigate personally. I'm sure that the baguettes wouldn't be holding his men back for too much longer anyway. : )

I'm snickering at Dumbledore's "mighty leap" here. I know it probably wasn't meant to be funny, but a guy with a long wizardly beard leaping around the battlefield has me thinking of that scene in the Star Wars saga, where we finally get to see Yoda in a light saber duel. I laughed through that one too. Sorry! It's just me.

And of course, when MacDonald charged through the Crucio spell, that was cool! I'm glad you focused on his actions and gave Dumbledore that signature line. It was a fitting way to end the chapter!

Author's Response: Thanks a lot for reviewing again!

I feel like I've gradually gotten better at writing action scenes as the story goes on, so its good to hear that you enjoyed the action here.

Thanks for agreeing with me! As much as Dumbledore likes to teach, I highly doubt he would pause in the middle of a battle to explain the properties of erumpent horns.

For the overall plot to work I had to figure out how to delay the Dumbledore/Grindelwald duel to the end of the war, since we know from the books that it happened in 1945. I thought having Grindelwald be in Russia and Dietrich trying to cover things up was the best way to accomplish this.

I picture Dumbledore in battle being very similar to Gandalf, having a nimble-ness that you would never guess from his elderly apperance. I think he also has a lot of Obi Wan in him.

Glad you liked the ending!


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 990
Submit Report: