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Review:atellam says:
Oo, I did enjoy this. It was good. Very interesting in the way that you tied the fountain in with her name.

Really, I liked the plot, and for your first angst, this was incredibly well done. There were a few things that caught my eye though...

First off, have you edited this? Re-read it, etc? - eg. 'as he is hoping to publish to publish the photographs' - here you've got 'to publish' written twice, which i'm fairly sure wasn't on purpose. Also, you might want to check out Writers Resources on the forums. They have some really helpful topics that might be able to help your editing process (Writers Resources -> Grammar Guidelines, then go nuts) I spent ages reading through them before I figured out I was using commas wrong a lot. Check it out :)

Other than that, the only other thing you might want to look at is your formatting. It changes throughout the story - in the last part after Penny dies, you have some crazy spaces that you didn't have up above.

But other than that, this is really good. :) Well done, and I hope you step out of your comfort zone and write angst more often. ^_^

Cheers for requesting the review.

Keep up the good work,
Adele.

Author's Response: Thank you! That means a lot to me, especially since this was a requested review ♥

I re-read this, and edited it, but my laptop sometimes doubles really random stuff when i copy&paste, and i didn't re-read it after I put it in the upload box thingy, so i'll have another look through, and maybe re-edit. I'll certainly check out the grammar guidlines.

My formatting is another thing they generally has a habit of going kooky, so i'll deffo have another look at that :)

Thank you again, it's so awesome of you to review so quick,

love Charlie
xx


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