Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:magnolia_magic says:
Hi, I'm back! My internet's been down for a few days, or I would have been here sooner :/

I liked this chapter a lot; it's a really nice read. Minerva's got a really serene, matter-of-fact narrative voice, which matches perfectly with her dialogue and with what you've shown us about her character. I think you're doing a great job with her! I never thought of her as someone who would fly, but when we find out it's part of her plan B, it makes sense.

I really like all the OCs as well. Francesca seems like a fun girl, and Jane seems really sweet and down-to-earth. I really enjoyed reading the friendship between the three girls :)

As far as plot progression goes, I think it's going well up to this point. This chapter has tons of background information and filler stuff, which is fine. But in the next chapter I hope to see the story get off the ground a little more. I'm especially anxious to know more details of Minerva's plan, and see how she puts it into action.

This chapter has a pretty dramatic ending, but I do wish there was a little more attention given to that part. What was Minerva's reaction upon seeing the blood? What about everyone else in the room? Are they curious, worried? Maybe it's just me, but I would have liked to see some added emphasis on those things.

I love your thorough descriptions in this; every scene has photographic detail, and I think it's so much fun to read. Especially during the flying scene towards the end--I almost felt like I was on a broom, seeing all the things that Minerva was seeing. It's just wonderfully written :)

Thanks again for requesting! I'm really enjoying this a lot! :)

--Maggie

Author's Response: Thats okay! Don't worry about it for a second and sorry that it usually takes me a couple of days to respond to reviews. I try to answer them as soon as I get them, it just never works out.

I was really unsure about her /flying/. I just wasn't sure if I could visualise her on a broomstick, but it turns out she can. Yeah, this chapter is probably the most fillerish one of the lot and I wasn't exactly sure about that. It felt neccesary, but it also felt like it might be a bit boring? But, yeah, the plot definately comes into furition more in the next chapter :)

I hadn't actually thought about the lack of attention to her reaction so I'm really glad you've pointed that out. This is why I love review requests! Thank you! I'll be sure to go back and edit that slightly at some point.

Thank you for the loverly lovely review! :)

-AC


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 430
Submit Report: