Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap says:
Her silver cries break through the moonless night.

HOOKED ME RIGHT IN. Seriously, I have never been so captivated by a first sentence before. I actually read that part over about five or six times because it really painted this picture for me and gave me an icy chill.

She could see it in the way his pupils dilated, in the way he always made sure Narcissa or his father were always with him if he had to be in the same room as her and in the dancing steps of anxiety he took if he stood too close to her.

I could actually really believe that Bellatrix and Luce would get together one night or more. To think Draco would be her son is a stretch for me but the way you wrote it out, making Narcissa barren and yet keeping everyone in character, the thoughts and the actions, really made me believe. I actually just second guessed myself for a moment and said 'Well, this surely is canon, isn't it!'

And she ignores the weeping inside of her as the last vestige of humanity is incinerated in her madness.

Another chill with this last sentence. You really were able to make the first and last sentence so powerful that everything inbetween is just magnified.

I thought this was wonderful. Excellent job dear!

Author's Response: Thank you for this! :) It's given me something to look at and feel happy. I did try to be pretty poetic and picturesque in the beginning so I'm glad that came off.

I'm glad that everyone was in character enough for you to be doubtful :) This was a wonderful review to read!

Char


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 403
Submit Report: