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Review:Alopex says:
Oh, a Founders story! Did you know that when I first started reading fanfiction, I would only read Founders fics? I still have a soft spot for them.

Hm, I wonder, could the angry wizard who is setting fire to everything be Salazar Slytherin? I'm just guessing based on the era and the attitutes he apparently had toward non-Purebloods. Anyway, whoever it was, that first part was rather chilling! What a scary individual. I'm not eager to meet him in a dark alley.

Overall, I enjoyed your description of Rowena moving through the destruction of the village. I thought you did a good job of capturing the contrast and the overall atmosphere, as well as giving us a feel for who she is and how she thinks. It's a nice introduction to the story.

However, I would advise you not to get too bogged down in your descriptions. I think sometimes you are wanting to describe every detail you are picturing in your own mind, which can be too much, and it often leads to somewhat convoluted sentences. I recognize this tendency very much from my own writing, because I often find myself doing the same thing. It's something just to be aware of, because it can wind up being quite distracting to the reader.

I did notice one mistake: The phrase is to wreak havoc rather than to wreck havoc. Also, Muggle is a word JKR capitalized (she capitalized most of the magical words she invented).

I feel like I'm kind of ending on a down note here (I'm a bad sandwich method reviewer), so I'm going to add this: Keep it up! Judging from all two chapters I've read, I think you know how to make a hooking beginning to a story.

Author's Response: Founders' is awesome! I love them so much, and was really glad to write this.

I'd definitely not like to meet them in a dark alley. Although I wouldn't see them, so maybe I could be a chicken and hide. NO! GRYFFINDOR COURAGE :) ...sorry about that. I type as I think.

I'm glad you like the introduction to Ravenclaw. I think this will definitely be written following her, and her encounters with the others.

Descriptions are my weak spot. I always worry about not having enough description, and so add it in if I can. That's obviously something for me to improve.

Thanks for the review, and these reviews have made me so happy, a down ending won't spoil my good mood! :) Thanks again!


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