Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:Alopex says:
Hello. :) I figured it was about time to return the favor of the unexpected review. This is a very short chapter/prologue, so there aren't a huge amount of things for me to comment on, but I usually find something to ramble about.

I don't really have any idea what's going on so far (which is often the case at the end of a prologue!), so I'm not sure what Scorpius' lie might be that caused Draco to apparently disown him. However, the paragraphs at the end made me think of Sirius Black leaving his home and going to the Potters. It seems like a definite echo, there, and obviously, it is stated in the summary you were given.

I haven't read the other reviews, so I don't know if anyone has pointed this out or not. I did notice one error for sure: past instead of passed in the first paragraph. I also thought the first paragraph was rather heavy on describing all the different ways in which Scorpius moves around. There are only five sentences, but there are footsteps, stamping, marching, storming, walking, and heading. I think it could be made a little smoother, although the writing does reflect the turmoil and excitement Scopius is feeling.

I liked the description of Scorpius leaving. He retreats down this gravel path and then finds himself outside the gates. It's all very final and symbolic somehow if you want to get all literary about it.

I think you have a start that will definitely get some readers intrigued and wanting to know why Scorpius has been disowned (and others who are just waiting for the Scorose scenes to appear :P ).

Author's Response: OMG! Thank you! Seeing these reviews made my day! :D

Thanks for pointing that error out firstly, that's something I can correct. The first paragraph is very heavy on the descriptions, and I'm so glad you pointed that out to me.

I'm glad it's all very mysterious, but I have a good idea where this is going, and all shall be revealed. :P

I loved the summary to this, and the echo with Sirius is definitely there. Also, I'm so glad that you liked Scorpius' departure, that is probably the bit that's most important in this chapter, to me anyway.

Thanks for such a great review! You're awesome! :D

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 100
Submit Report: