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Review:WitnesstoitAll says:


No? Sadtimes. But seriously this was so, so good. In comparison to the first draft I saw to this, this is just so perfect and polished and fluid and hilarious. I love the arrangement of scenes here. Great choices! Your characterization and the way you jump back and forth between your characters is really admirable. Of course I can change characters between chapters, but within the same chapter? probably not. You really make it feel effortless to the reader. Also. Ewan kissing a Redheaded man visiting his brother in cairo, huh? Very nice connection to a canon fact (bill in egypt...) I initially thought Percy for some reason... but settled on charlie after actually thinking about it. Really, that was hilarious. The whole chapter is so funny and light and fast moving. It's great.

I hope you update soon. Nudge me when you do!

Author's Response: Haha, that awful first draft. It was so clunkyyy. So glad I chopped so much of it off :D

The change in POV's only seems to work for me in this story, for some reason. I can't really make it work elsewhere :| ALSO HMMM. IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN A WEASLEY THAT WAS NEVER MARRIED IN CANON. POSSIBLY.

So good to hear that it was light and fast-moving, because before it was like trying to swim with lead shoes.

Thanks dear!


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