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Review:CambAngst says:
Ooh! So Draco knows something. Very interesting indeed. I'm struggling a bit to figure out where you're taking Draco's character, but in a good way. He seems to be hinting at a willingness to trust Hermione and possibly even help her. All of these events would be playing out after the day when Voldemort murdered Charity Burbage and tormented the Malfoy family for Lucius's questionable loyalty. It seems that Draco is feeling more than a little disaffected.

Hermione's reactions seemed very much in character. Her loathing continues to trump her desire to know what Draco knows, if only by a small margin.

There was one line in the story that sounded very awkward: "I serve a purpose here, as we all do. Do not doubt what movements are already in motion, the actions that cannot be changed." This sounded unusually formal, almost Shakesperian. Out of place for Hermione, anyway.

Also, I noticed a couple of places where you could have used a comma, such as "He spat standing"

Overall, this chapter was well written.

Author's Response: Hi!
There's really a lot behind this Draco, he's a character who at times there's a lot to more to than it initially seems and I wanted to present him in a what which he comes across as almost unreliable, because let's face it, he really is. Death Eater, now student, he really deserves no-one's trust, almost not even his own. His actions later will prove this hopefully, I've just got to get around to posting that! :P

Ahh Hermione, she's always such an interesting character, but luckily for the story she's not as stubborn as Ron, otherwise there would really be no story.

The only explanation or blame I can place on that line is the fact that I'm a Literature student, it's more than possible that I was feeling the influence of Shakespeare or someone similar when I wrote that, but hopefully I shall get around to going through and correcting it at some point, there seems to be a few lines that are far too formal for the story when I go back and look at it, so thank you for pointing it out! I'll add it to my edit's document to be changed when I go through and edit it. Also thank you for pointing out the comma being needed, I either overuse or under use them so I'll be looking to fix that up as well!

Thank you so much for your wonderful and helpful review! I'll look at correcting all the things you've mentioned as soon as possible!

~ In The Shadows I Dwell


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