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Review:sophie_hatter says:
Hi there, Char! I'm here for the BvB battle:-)

So, the heart of darkness in this story was laid bare for all to see! I really liked the way you didn't flinch away from it - it gave your story integrity, even as your characters lost theirs.

You have an excellent descriptive style, especially regarding your characters inner monologues, really putting the reader in the moment. There was some gorgeous, rich language that brought the whole thing alive. More than that, you did it in a way that really brought home the drama of events. I commend you for that.

If I have one criticism to make, it's that the events you chose to explore here crossed such a wide expanse of time. There's nothing wrong with that per se, but I would have appreciated a little bit more lead-in, as I got a bit confused with the time skips sometimes.

I've seen that SeverusLove has already reviewed this chapter for grammar and typos, so I'll skip over the few minor things that I spotted. Technically, there was very little that I noticed anyway.

In all honesty, I wouldn't necessarily have chosen this story to read (I'm more of a fluffy romance kind of a girl:-)), but I really enjoyed it, and I think the best thing about review battles is you get to challenge yourself with really good stories that you wouldn't otherwise have read.

Good job!

Author's Response: I'm glad that you found my boldness in writing this story a plus rather than a minus. I had many a trepidation doing so!

I do get it on the added time in between each scene. I was kind of just belting this out at the time in preparation for Nano and not really outlining it. I can def keep that in mind for any future similar fics.

I'm glad you challenged yourself to read this because you gave me a couple of good points and some solid praise! :) Thanks!


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