|Review:||Woodrow Rynne says:|
Hey there! I'm here with your challenge review. :)
First off, I loved the summary. At that 'turned to stone' part, I almost thought that the person had actually turned to stone or something, not figuratively. *headdesk* silly-billy me :P
Anyway, this was a fab one-shot! I loved how you described Snape's pain, it was intense and descriptive and realistic. The shortness of the piece fit with the story too; I think it made his feelings all the more heart-wrenching. :) Loved that.
Hm..however, Snape seemed a little OOC to me. It wasn't in his actions , that made him seem so (at least, according to me), but the words you used. Mostly it was really good. For instance- I despised them all. She was the only one. This was very in-character for Snape. Seems like something he would say. On the other hand, I took a step towards the door, built a cage to put my heart in, bit my lip, killed my lasting bits of hope, put a hand on the doorknob, tore my soul apart, stepped out, and turned to stone. If this was in third person, it would have been very believable, but now it sounds a bit odd, coming from Snape's mind. He was a very erm...reserved character even before Lily's death, so I don't think he would consciously think of becoming a cold-hearted man. Subconsciously, yes, but not consciously. Also, I think he would be even more vicious and broken upon hearing the news of her death. Perhaps, you could try to expand on the first part of the story even more? :)
Of course, that's only my interpretation. And I shouldn't be the one to say, as my own canon characterisations tend to be rubbish. :P and yours was very good, nonetheless.
But other than these teeny things, I really enjoyed it. It was well-written and a heartfelt piece. :)
Great work! and I hope my comments helped a bit, and that I wasn't too harsh..
Thank you for entering my challenge! :D
Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing!! I'm glad you enjoyed it! And I'll try and see if I could edit and make Snape closer to canon, as I've had that comment more than once!
And yes you have helped! I don't think you were too harsh, just what I needed to get myself to work harder ;)
Thanks again! :D