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Review:LionsRule says:
Hiii! LionsRule here from the forums with your requested review. Ahh, I can't believe I'm so late in getting to this (it's been over a month, yikes) but better late than never! Right?

Anyway, I really like how you started this chapter. I love how you portray James. A lot of stories have their own interpretation of him, but I actually think this is the most spot on. From the epilogue in DH, I can totally see the James that JK Rowling wrote growing up to be exactly like your interpretation of him. I know it's hard to tell that from only a few sentences about him, but it makes sense in my mind. ^_^

You asked about your flow and coherence, and for the most part, it was excellent. There were a few parts that got a bit choppy, such as the paragraphs about James' thoughts. Yet none of them were really bad, but if you really wanted to improve, those are the areas you might be able to polish up on.

However, I really think this a great chapter. Congrats on an excellent piece, and once again, I'm incredibly sorry for the horrendous wait.

- Jacqueline

Author's Response: Hi, thanks for this! No worries about the wait!

Thanks for this, both the praise and the advice. I hope I got James right - he's a bit cliched, but that can happen I suppose!

I'll look out for that, thank you!

So happy you liked that :)

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