|Review:||Violet Gryfindor says:|
Here for your challenge review! Thank you again for entering the challenge, and I wish your entry the best of luck against the others! :)
Wow. This story is incredibly powerful. Not what I was expecting, but better because it hits one like a punch, that simple, strong voice, confessing the secret jealousies of his soul. It's the story of all sidekicks lost in the shadow, and in Ron's case, he was in the shadows long before Harry arrived on the scene - his whole life, really. You capture this long-term grudge wonderfully, especially in the ways that you have Ron continuously say that Harry is his friend, etc., but each time, he can't convince himself that he's happy to be just the best friend - he needs to be more.
The title of this story fits perfectly in this way because the jealousy is a monster that's eating Ron away from within - he's definitely in danger of becoming a monster himself, the next Dark Lord in the most extreme sense (that would be an insane plot bunny, actually). Certainly the way that Ron associates green with both Harry's eyes and the death curse can be read as disturbing, but it's also a natural association, one that Harry himself would make, too, seeing that the death curse has followed him around all his life (it's as though Harry lives in its shadow, drawing an interesting parallel between the way you've portrayed both characters here).
You've found a very complex way of weaving various ideas surrounding the word "green" through this story, which is made all the more impressive by the story's brevity - you were able to do a lot within a short space, and it feels as though it's a recording of Ron's thoughts for a brief moment in time. I can imagine him seeing something green, or having heard someone mention the word, then this rant pops into his head, and once it's over, he carries on. It's a very natural process - rather like how the word association game works - and you capture it amazingly, going more in-depth with a curious aspect of Ron's personality. It's something easy to feel sympathy for, that desire for attention, to be seen as special, but there's a sour note to Ron's point of view. Maybe not "sour" because it too is understandable in a way, but how he rejects any compliment given to him because it's for something (action or trait) that's shared with one of his rivals is troubling, even worth pitying. He's done this to himself to a large degree by trying so hard to distance himself, and he ends up "proving them right" in the end. He fails to achieve his goal, and it's horrible - very canon and to character, but still very sad. And very real.
If I go on any further, I'll write something longer than your story. This is an exceptional one-shot (it's rather more like an extended drabble because of its constrained focus) written with great feeling and care for every word. Thank you for this. I can definitely see why your stories are so popular and have to get myself reading more of them!
Author's Response: I just don't even know how to begin to respond to this. For the sake of curiosity, I put this in a word counter, and you /did/ write something longer than the story! And so now I'm just sitting here and trying to convey my appreciation for this. You've left dinosaur-sized footprints to fill here. :)
I think one of the things I have to thank you most for, though -- or maybe not thank you for, but definitely comment on -- is how accurately you got everything I was trying to convey with this story. You caught all the subtleties, all the emotions I didn't necessarily name but tried to include, and as a writer I have to really thank you for that. It's always such a rush to have someone take the time to read something not just for the sake of reading, but to really /read/ it, and catch all those things that go into a story.
I just... I am so sorry that this response is not going to do this review the justice it warrants. Just thank you, so much, both for leaving it and reading the story with the critical and intelligent eye that it needed, in part. I am so grateful and I am so glad you made the challenge that brought it on, as well! You made my day, Susan, if not my week. :)