|Review:||Roots in Water says:|
It's Roots in Water here with your review! Sorry for the delay- life has been very busy.
I really, really enjoyed reading these chapters. I think that you've done an absolutely fantastic job of capturing Luna's personality and life. In each chapter you show more of her unique perspective of life, in the way she dances to wind, adventures without planning and her awe at life. I really enjoyed reading about the demiguises in this chapter- the simple awe Luna felt as she observed them was beautifully written and I think that you did a fantastic job of describing the little-known animals.
Rolf is an unexpected delight: you haven't written him how I imagined him but I do enjoy the way you've characterized him. A naturalist, he shares Luna's fascination and wonder with the world- I can already see how perfect they'd be together. You've done a great job of writing him so that he isn't just a male version of Luna but instead a person with his own personality. I do wonder what you're going to do about his wife. I know that you mentioned her before and it sounded like she was still alive... If so, how are you going to move that storyline along (even if this is only chapter 5) because I can't imagine that Luna will accept any form of cheating... This could quickly become a tangled mess.
Luna definitely seems to become more free with herself as the chapters progress and she delves further into her adventure. I guess that this adventure really is what she needed, that she was becoming bored and stale working at the Quibbler.
I did find it interesting, once I realized it, that this wasn't taking place directly after Hogwarts and I think that this is a very unique and new storyline. I love the little mentions and scenes with the other characters from Hogwarts- Neville's wedding, Ginny's charity... It's heartwarming to see that they're still so close, still such good friends. In particular, I loved the little mention of James- he sounded so cute!
To be honest, if you hadn't told me that this story wasn't updated very often, and I hadn't read the author's notes, I wouldn't have known. You've done a great job of continuing the flow of the story from chapter to chapter and I didn't notice any awkward parts in the writing. However, the first few times you started a chapter in a completely different place and situation than the one from the previous chapter, I was confused. Once I realized what you were doing, and how it sounded like Luna and how you gradually explained her dreams/brought her back to the present, I understood and didn't have a problem with it.
I did notice a few small typos, very easy to fix. In chapter two, instead of "Her body slowed" you wrote "He body slowed". As well, with "lead you through" it should be "led" and with "shook is head" it should be "his". In chapter four, instead of "Barney shameless leaned" it should be "shamelessly".
This story has a surreal feel to it, an atmosphere that suits Luna perfectly. You've done an excellent job with your description. I really enjoyed reading this story and I hope that my comments are helpful! Thanks for requesting!
Author's Response: Hey!
Thank you for reviewing! I literally always have to reread your reviews a few times before I can articulate an adequate response. Your reviews are so thorough and wonderfully balanced that they help to put me in the proper mindset to write the next chapter and point out small inconsistencies that I can correct to improve my story.
Luna is a terrifying character. I really am striving in this story to steer clear of her 'loony' reputation. Of course Luna is a bit different and odd, but I really see her as an incredibly whimsical, wise and insightful character. She really sees things that others don't, things that may be too small or normal for others to find fascination it. Luna is very transcendental.
I didn't want to start this story immediately after Hogwarts concluded. I wanted a chance for life to move on and normalize a bit to really support the restless feel that Luna had in the first chapter. Since the majority of this story is taking place far away from Hogwarts and the UK, I wanted to include familiar characters in the first chapter.
That is a huge relief. The style of this story is very fickle and it's the sort of thing that is impossible to force write, so my updates have been very irregular. I don't have many consistent, chapter to chapter readers and so I always worry about how fluid the story is.
Ah! Typos. I've actually never edited or had this story beta'd. (insert guilty face here) But thank you so much! I actually sought out a beta for the first time last week and will be doing a massive typo and grammatical overhaul very soon.
Thank you so, so much!