Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:DracoFerret11 says:
Hey, it's me again. More reviewing now!

Wow...this chapter...ahh, especially the end. That just hurt. I'm not even the one going through it, but I can imagine how much that would really, really suck to experience. You're doing a great job with portraying the emotions. Keep up the good work.

So, your concerns:

Characterization was good here. Everyone is consistent and well-written. I don't have any complaints. And Caprice isn't a Mary-Sue at the moment! Yay!

Interactions: the friendship between the Gryffindor girls is very believable. It makes them all seem very close. I really liked that Nora went out with Capri to comfort her after her feelings were hurt so badly.

I have no concerns about the believability of this chapter. Everything made sense and was reasonable. So, well done there.

Flow and pace? You're doing fine. :] The flow is interesting. You mentioned Jason, but he doesn't seem to play a large role yet. We'll see where he goes. I hope she doesn't date him just to make Sirius jealous...Pacing is fine too, we're moving alone nicely.

I think you've got something good here. It all seems like it makes sense and I was impressed with the emotions you portrayed. I might like to see more in the way of descriptions of the characters though. I don't remember what half of them look maybe some hints in that department would help. :]

Keep up the good work! I'll continue reading ASAP!


Author's Response: Hey Emily!
Whoa! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE AMAZING REVIEWS! I'm so so sorry I couldn't get back to you earlier! took an extended vacation and left the lap top behind so I wouldn't be tempted to write, work or play games and instead just enjoyed Lol.
Anyway your reviews are amazing and i'm glad you are enjoying the story. I hope that the characters are developing. This is my first fiction really and I'm hoping that I'm steering away from cliches and mary-sue behaviours with my oc. I am working on getting more characters involved. Since I found it hard to tie in the characters I thought I'll instead bring in their perspective. Hope you'll see what i mean in the future chapters.
Don't worry, she's not gonna be a "Fifth Marauder" loll she's only tied to Sirius. Thank you so much for the reviews Emily. You've given me I really appreciate it. Glad you came by :) Thanks loads, again.

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 502
Submit Report: