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Review:The Singer in White says:
This is good, except for one thing: I find Harry to be out of character in this chapter.

All throughout Harry's time in Hogwarts, he was absolutely PLAGUED with rumors about him - a lot of them were incredibly nasty. Of course, none of them were true. I would think, by remembering the rumors that were spread about him during his time in school, that Victoire would find another ally in Harry. Harry would know better than to judge someone by the rumors that are spread about them, especially when those rumors concern his eldest niece - a member of his own family.

Might I suggest Andromeda to replace Harry in this scene? I've read other very convincing/realistic stories where she feels Victoire is a bad influence on Teddy. My favorite one is "Life in Composition" by Fanny Price.

If not, then you should try and rehash this scene where Harry approaches Victoire and basically says in a more subtle manner, "I know I'm not the most accessible uncle, but if you need to talk about what's going on in school, I am here."

Author's Response: I understand where you're coming from, but you also have to understand that Harry doesn't believe what he hears are rumors. He thinks what he hears is really true, which is why he's trying to protect Teddy. I think it's explained a bit more in the next chapter.

That being said, I didn't write the scene very well. Originally there was more about Harry having heard the rumors stated as fact from Neville and Victoire's past, but that seemed like extraneous detail at the time.

If I end up rewriting this story, I'll probably give that scene a huge face lift. The Andromeda idea is actually really good and I may look into doing that in the rewrite. I'll definately check out the story you suggested. Thanks for the criticism and suggestions! I always love getting feedback on how to improve!


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