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Review:apocalypse says:
Hey! This is apocalypse here with your review!

Okay the first and foremost thing I'd like to mention is the description. I remember pointing this out on With All Things that I thought that it lacked description. However this story is exactly opposite of that. It has exactly the perfect amount of description and I loved reading it. The description added to my enjoyment of the story overall and made me enjoy Luna's contemplation and observations. Usually, when there is too much description, people tend to get bored of it but here, your writing style combined with Luna's character and of course, the kind of descriptive phrases, made sure that I did not get bored and eventually fell in love with the chapter. When the chapter ended, I realised where I was and what I had been doing. I had been so immersed in the contents of the story that I completely forgot my own surroundings. Very good job! =)

Moving on to the characterisation. I think that you have done a very good job on Luna and have captured her dreaminess excellently. She's matured here and that's obvious but you've maintained her original character so well that the blend of her maturity and her dreaminess was very fun to read. Loved it. However, one slight thing: there were some parts where I thought the her thought got too deep and the words you used made them sound more complex than they were. It's not such a problem but I just think that it could've been a little simpler? I hope you know what I mean.

Harry was a very good addition to the chapter. I'm glad that you've shown him as so happy with his life. =) The way he commented on James' actions was very funny and I enjoyed that dialogue a lot. You actually should his friendship with Luna and I did not miss the fact how much it matters to her.

Neville was very canon too and I really like how her made her realise that she needs a puzzle to fit into. The depth of his character was evident and even though we have not seen Neville talk like this in the books, his original character did not waiver and I was glad about that. So glad he's married and I wish there had been more on his wedding and his wife.

This was such a perfect chapter; so nicely written that I don't really have much to say on it. Your characters seem very original and are blending into the plot very well. Keep it up! =)

Author's Response: And finally the last review response for youu!

I commend you for comparing WAT to this story. I don't really see much in common between the two except for the fact that I write them both. They are just very different styles. I do know what you mean with the 'use of simpler' language thing, and I feel as though I got better at this-descriptive heavy style as the story progresses.

I love your critiques and find them really helpful. I'm glad you enjoyed reading this and hope you continue to as I begin to update it again.

Thanks!
-Melissa


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