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Review:CambAngst says:
So, this chapter was definitely a little rough. I found a number of typos and such. Without further ado:

"Lily says before walking a little closer to the three second year…" - I think you meant "three second years". This happens a bunch of times throughout the chapter.

"When the hundred of students arrive closer to them," - hundreds?

"Ennemies of the heir, beware! You'll be next Mudbloods!" - two n's in enemies

"Everyone attentively watch the Headmaster Dumbledore doing some sort of complicated moves over the rigid body of the cat." - I think you were trying to say that everyone was attentively watching Dumbledore.

Hugo and Al give their sisters utterly disgussed looks. - So I actually checked to make sure this wasn't a British spelling that I just wasn't familiar with ;-) But you write "disgussed" or "disguss" a few times throughout the chapter.

"Why would you assume the Chamber in in the dungeons?" - "is in the dungeons"?

"Do you think that it's tue then?" A particularly small girl ask the rest of the group - I think you meant "true" and "asked".

"I swear I'll find out who's doing all this and he will pay... - You forgot to italicize this bit of the narrator's voice.

OK beyond the little things, there was head hockey… once again you've reminded me of a little nugget from the books that I had completely forgotten about. That said, I thought the chapter might have moved along better without it, or at least without quite so much space dedicated to it.

Again, I thought the chapter could have benefited from delving a little more into the teens' reactions to some of the things that happened, especially their horror at finding Mrs. Norris and the blood-red message on the wall and their disgust at Draco Malfoy's slur against muggle-borns.

On the plus side, a lot of the banter between the teens was great. I especially liked the little bit of insight about Ron being worried for Hermione's safety. That was good foreshadowing.

Once you clean up the little stuff, I think you have another great chapter here!

Author's Response: Hi!
Wow, you have really flooded my unanswered reviews pile and I love it! I will get back to the review you left for the previous chapters in the coming days but I wanted to answer this one first.

The second year was really hard to write for me, it's my least favorite book of the series and trying to make it interesting was pretty difficult. Also, my beta left this site between year one and two and I am still waiting for someone else to pick up my story so this is part of why the second year is really full of gramatical errors. As for the lenght and drag of the story, I honestly have to admit that I didn't go back on it yet. I went back on the first year a couple time to tiddy up the chapters, cut the unnescessary paragraphs or pieces of dialogues and so on. The second year has not been done yet and this is why I appreciate your review so much. You are really giving me huge pointers as to what I should cut or make a little longer and I appreciate that so much, you have no idea.

Like I said, the second year is much rougher around the edges but I do appreciate the effort you put into your review, helping me improve it in a near future. I was waiting for the entire year to be over before I went back on it as a whole (like I did for the first one) and now that the last chapter has been validated, I am going to get on it. I want to clean this year before I start the next one.

Thanks again for all this (did you get how much I like it? If not : THANKS!!)


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