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Review:academica says:
Hey! Review swap brought me here :)

The beginning of this was cute, and quite imaginative. I like that you took her parents' deaths into account, because it shows that you did your homework when composing this first chapter. The interaction between her and the little girl is sweet and quite telling of her personality.

I liked the bit of banter between Marlene and the girls. I can already tell that she's got a lot of energy and seems to be quite popular. I couldn't really tell if she and Sirius were involved, although the ship listing on this story seems to imply that she'll end up with Remus instead. There were a couple of things that kind of turned me off: one, she seems like a really needy, attention-seeking girl. I can understand that she's poor, but her constant begging for treats and gifts reminded me a bit too much of Pansy Parkinson for my liking. The other thing is Lily crying about Petunia; it seemed a bit melodramatic. I would have expected her to make a snappy comment or brush it off like it wasn't anything to worry about, at least in public or until Petunia does something else.

This is a nice start! Good luck with the rest :)

academica

Author's Response: Hi there! Thank you so much for a great review.
I'm happy you think it's imaginative and everything :) But the fact that she is attention seeking and really rather selfish, thinking the world revolve around her because she's an orphan and poor, is EXACTLY the way she's meant to be :). Sorry if that was off putting, but i was aiming for a bit of character depth, and not just a happy, flirty, sarcastic teenager as so many stories have in them.

Hmm...but you do have a good point about Lily crying over Petunia! I might edit that out :)
Thank you!
LWG :)


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