Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:In The Shadows I Dwell says:
It's Ash back again with your next review. Once again I'm going to mention the beginning, but mostly because I particularly love how you've tied it to the ending, it's always a nice touch to see in a story. It's interesting to see that in the space of a chapter so many developments can be made, and yet she can still remain in a state of knowing very little about herself and the life she was once part of. It's a very powerful opening to the chapter, and an equally as powerful ending in my opinion and it certainly grabs the reader's attention right from the very beginning.

There was a setence I noticed early on which I'll mention because I had to go back and read it a couple of times due to it just seeming a little awkwardly worded: "I know what I can see in the reflection," it just seemed as though it could have been worded a little differently, perhaps as something like: "I know what I can see in 'my' reflection" as it just seems to work a little better, again it's a matter of personal taste, but seeing as it's written in the first person it really can work either way I suppose.

I found the relationship between Beth, Amanda and John interesting and how she identifies them as a source of comfort. It's interesting to see that they are the one's who found her in the muggle world and they are also the one's to bring the wizarding world back to her. The letter from Ginny revealed a lot about her friendships, and I'm hoping they'll all be reunited at some point! It's also interesting that no-one hadn't panicked considering they wouldn't have heard from Beth or her family and if her parents really were taken from the forest why no-one had recognized them. I'm sure there's an answer for it, it's just something I found interesting.

You asked me to comment on the flow of the story and I think it's fine, it reads very nicely and you have separated the chapter in places which make sense and even add greater flow to the story instead of lingering in the one scene for too long. I really like Beth's perspective in this chapter, it's really great to see the world you are presenting from the eyes of someone who can't remember their place within it, and I think you've done a great job on this chapter, so keep up the excellent work!

~ Ash

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 725
Submit Report: