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Review:In The Shadows I Dwell says:
Hi!
I'm back again with your next review. So as I read this chapter a thought hit me that I've never actually read any next-gen story from Lily's perspective and it's something I really like. I personally find that she's a particularly interesting character to read the story from the perspective of. As part of the Potter/Weasley family she has an insight that not all characters can offer and the insights you give into many of the other characters are excellent. Despite many of them just being mentions they add an excellent depth and life to the story, it's not just mentions of her cousins but of the relationships that Ginny has with other's, Lily's observations allow the reader to gain a picture of what life was like following the Battle of Hogwarts and how their lives have moved on and changed during that time. I like how you've shown many relationships in this chapter, not just between the adults and the friendships they've formed, but between the cousins and James and Lily themselves, it's clear that they get along better than she would with Albus but seeing them talking with one another revealed a lot about their characters, and the bribes in particular revealed quite a bit about their characters. James loves flying and it would seem Lily enjoys her privacy, although it's only natural.

Out of all the character's I'm going to mention, I'm going to talk about Hugo. I find his character interesting, particularly the choice to place him in Hufflepuff. I guess I always see the next-gen portrayed as younger versions of their parents and it's good to see you've actually made them their own individual characters. Hugo doesn't really seem to be like either of his parents if my initial impressions are correct. He is easily intimidated and I guess he's a lot different to his cousins who obviously know how to tease him. It's clear that there's a great bond between the cousins, and it's something I thought was lovely to see, particularly the need Lily has to protect him, because it's clear he's more sweet and innocent than his cousins and sister and it's good to see another side to Lily as well, a caring and concerned cousin as well!

I also want to talk about Lily again, purely because her character is interesting and I love the development's that take place in this chapter. I liked her talking about her appearance, I believe how a character thinks or talks about their appearance and how an author portrays this greatly affects a reader's perception. I like how you didn't linger on it, although you did prove that she does care about how she looks, but it's more to do with her reputation than anything else, I giggled a little when you mentioned that she felt she needed to look a little stuck up. It really allowed me to gain a better mental picture of how she would act at Hogwarts and potentially how she would treat others, although I hope we get to see this at some point!

Okay, I believe this chapter read really nicely, the flow was very good and there weren't many things I noticed in terms of awkwardly worded sentences or sentences that were perhaps a little too long or unnecessarily punctuated. So, overall it was a well written chapter which offered a lot to the development of the story overall, particularly with the introduction of so many new characters the focus still remained with Lily, and I certainly look forward to reading how this story develops in the future! The only suggestion I have is perhaps a little more description of the other characters, but aside from that it was another excellent chapter!

~ Ash

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