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Review:In The Shadows I Dwell says:
Hi Steph!
It's Ash here with your review, okay, to start off I'd like to say that you have a very nice opening to this story. The familiarity of the scene to me, being woken up by a sibling screaming about a spider was something I could picture in my own mind, but perhaps, most of all the most interesting thing about your opening was Lily herself and her attitude and personality which immediately leap off the screen at the reader. It's easy to gather a sense of her character from your writing, she is immediately portrayed as a prankster, organised and intelligent considering she has somehow managed to move an acromantula into her brother's bedroom. It would seem that she is much like her twin uncles and this is something I've never actually seen done before so this was an aspect of the beginning that I certainly liked.

The characterization of Lily is interesting, the next-gen is always interesting for me to see written purely because you are given the chance to do whatever you would like with their personality. I love how she appears to be much like James although the choice to place her in Slytherin seems to work well with her personality. She certainly is prepared to attempt to lie her way out of a bad situation which would make sense particularly as I often associate this sort of behavior with Slytherin due to Draco Malfoy. Harry and Ginny seem very much in character, there was a nice balance between them, Harry was neither weak nor strong compared to his wife and Ginny didn't seem to be entirely within control which you do sometimes see in fanfiction, so I think you have a nice balance here. I also enjoyed how you've portrayed Albus and James, their personalities are certainly different to Lily's but in a way which is unique and allows for the story to seem believable - I for one know exactly how different siblings can be so it's always great to see the Potter's represented as being entirely different from one another. I also like how Albus seems to share Ron's fear of spiders, a nice touch considering both were Gryffindor's and I believe it would be impossible for any single person to be unafraid of everything.

One thing I noticed which I have to point out is a couple of sentences which appeared to be worded awkwardly.
"Gives you a sense of hope for all those Slytherins out there." - This one just seemed to stop the flow of the story when reading despite it tying nicely with the sentence before it. Perhaps it would read better as something like: "It gives you a sense of hope for all those Slytherins out there." That way it would just flow on a little more nicely.

Another I noticed was this one: "Smirking I jumped out of my warm, green bed and slowly trudged into the bathroom so I could get ready for the call I was evidently going to receive once my parents went down stairs, to inspect and query Albus on why he woke the entire neighborhood up so early in the morning." It seemed a little long and I believe it could have been separated into a couple of sentences instead of a really long one, I noticed a couple of really long sentences which disrupted the flow a little, but overall your grammar and spelling were good and I have very little to talk about in this area aside from what I've mentioned above.

The flow of the story overall was good, it was easy to follow and the story itself was well written. The plot itself was believable and the overall idea of the story, while it is clear that Lily's existence is definitely concerned with pranking, the punishment makes it clear that there is room for her to improve with her actions and potentially learn from her actions. I particularly like how this chapter really set up the rest of the story, it's clear she may not have received that greater punishment for her pranks before and she's clearly going to learn that the hard way. I can't wait to find out what is going to happen in this story, particularly seeing as it is something entirely unique from all the next-gen stories I have read!

Keep up the excellent work and I look forward to reading more!
~ Ash

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