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Review:CambAngst says:
Another terrific effort! Once again, you did a great job of conveying the sense of wonder and cognitive dissonance the Next Gen kids are feeling as they discover the similarities and differences between the adults they know and the children that those adults used to be. This chapter gave us a great introduction to Neville and Draco, and continued to evolve the kids' understanding of Hermione's relationship to Ron and Harry. All very nicely imagined.

The writing was a little rougher in this chapter than the one before it. Sometimes you go for really long stretches of dialog uninterrupted by any narrative. There's nothing wrong with this, per se, but it does require more consistent use of dialog tags (e.g., "Ron said", "Hermione replied", "Dean exclaimed") in order to make it easy for the reader to keep track of who's saying what. It's not that I couldn't figure it out, it just took more effort than the last chapter where you were mixing dialog and narrative more evenly.

Overall, I am really enjoying this story. Gotta run out with the kids, but I'll be all over this later today!

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