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Review:AC_rules says:
Hello there :) Acrules from the forums here with your requested review.

I really like that you've gone for a completely orginal take on this - you have a Death Eater as the main girl, I like that, and I think you also mentioned somewhere that she's a hufflepuff - which is wonderful unique. I love a good hufflepuff, me, and I'm really intrigued to see where this story goes next - so you've got me on your side so far :)

When I first read it I was really confused. I think thats just because its late and I'm a bit stupid when I'm tired, but at first it just didn't make sense to me at all. Of course when I read it back it was fine and I was like 'oh you idiot AC' but I think what got me so mixed up was the section where she's talking about things from the past (mentioning boarding the Hogwarts express for the first time). Maybe you should humour all the tired readers like me and just change it so that it's undeniably obvious what she's talking about. Just mentioning the word memories at some point would work :)

A couple of the tangents were a little confusing too. I liked the humour of the one about cake (although I want cake now - you meanie :( ) but that one about Sirius threw me for a second (but like I said - sooo tirreddd). Then again, I liked how you mentioned Sirius in a way that makes it obvious he was significance - and now I really want to know how they knew each other and how she wound up here.

There were a couple of grammar-y sense-y things that I saw dotted about, but most of the time it was pretty good. Flow wise. it was reallly good through the whole thing, except thoes moments I mentioned above. I liked the pace too.

Believability? I haven't read anything that isn't believable yet, although I'd have to really find out about all her background and HOW she arrived he to be able to really make a judgement on it. So far though, I'm completely with you.

I really enjoyed it all so far and some bits of it were just fantastic (particuarlly the last line and the cohesion there - I love a cyclic ending me, and that one was no exception). Lovely start to what looks to be a really intersting story :)

-AC

Author's Response: Hi AC! Thank so much for stopping by!

I'm glad you think it's unique so far, i'm trying to explore something that i haven't read in ff much which is someone from a house other than Slytherin and how they turned bad. I mean doesn't Sirius or perhaps Hagrid... someone anyway said that there seemed to be more bad than good back then. I just thought it be interesting to look at.

I will go back through it to make sure everything is crystal clear just for the tired of mind. :D Thanks for those pointers and i will keep them in mind when i edit (which is usually ... always, i seem to be always constantly dissatisfied with everything i write and i enjoy the delete button way too much ;D)

Thanks again for stopping by and giving me your thoughts, they are very much appreciated.


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