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Review:The Christmas Fairy says:
So - chapter 7!

Tom remains suitably horrible. You write his schemeing and two-facedness very well. I liked the fact that you made him a little less perfect this time - having to talk to the basilisk in the cupboard, and being undecided about the message. He felt more like a psychopath in training rather than the finished article, which is as I think he should be.

The contrast between Tom and his evil, murderous plans and Amaya's quest to go out with him is very marked. Amaya feels superficial by comparison. I think this is something you can work with very successfully as the story progresses, although I think you need to be mindful of it.

And finally we have an attack! The ploy thickens:-)

If I can brit-pick just a tiny bit, you should say autumn instead of fall. I also noticed that you have a small formatting problem where the opening words of a couple of your paragraphs have been split across more than one line.

Author's Response: Wait, what? I could have sworn I answered these ages ago! Ack, I've just been stalking review counts on my page instead of clicking on "unanswered reviews" so I forgot all about these *headdesk*

Tom is horrible, but he can't be Voldemort yet. I like what you said-a pyschopath in training. He'll get worse as the story progresses >:D

Amaya does feel superficial for a reason. She tries to convice herself that she's on this noble quest and she's better than her family, but she's a Slytherin through and through-that comes in more at the second part of the story. So yes, that was intentional :)

This is undergoing edits now, so what you mentioned will be fixed!


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