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Review:Pen2Paper says:
Hey :)
Pen2Paper here with your review finally! I know its been an incredibly long wait but I barely get free time these days. Anyway so sorry for the delay. Moving on to the review part.

I have to say I haven't read many humour fics but this was definitely a memorable one! I really enjoyed reading it and I'm certain scores of people will too :)

Your main character is delightfully entertaining. As you explained 'the facts' as a list I wasnt sure if I was going to like her but when you said it's all in the details and continued to describe I quickly became fond her. Amelia is very likable with her charming resentfulness for her scheming Stepmother and her sarcasm. She strikes me as bit of a tom boy (I've always liked tom boy protagonists :) ) and she definitely does keep the readers interested :) Well done creating her and I hope you continue to develop her character.

Your plot so far is still in the early stages of development. It's got a good foundation having established the main character and her confrontation with Voldemort! HILARIOUS! Kudos to you!
I do hope you build on that base structure nicely.

Pace and flow, nothing odd, you seem to have done well with that. I especially like how you started giving us a small peek into 'Life as Amelia' The stepmother too is a wonderful piece of work. Every story needs a villain who we can easily dislike. She's going to add a lot of flavour to this story if you decide to keep her. :P

Two tiny details :
1. Spacing in the last segment was a little off... You had a lot of stand alone sentences. If you can try and even that out I'm sure that'll be great.

2. "all in black with his skin (was) so ashen it almost looked green. He was holding a wand up in the air and laughing manically"

^ 'was' is unnecessary in the above sentence.

Overall, you have a well written, well constructed, very entertaining chapter here. I especially enjoyed her thoughts of being called up as a volunteer since I sort of share the same fears! Lol. I am also curious as to who pushed her aside and why he/she was there.
I look forward to more. You've done well with this chapter, keep up the good work :)

8/10

~Pen2Paper.

Author's Response: Thank you so so so much for your review!! And don't worry at all about the wait, you wrote such a lovely and long review :)

I'm glad you think Amelia is likeable :) I might edit the 'facts' list, but I'm not sure yet... And yes, she is definitely not a girly girl haha. The stepmother will stay in the story, I'm glad you think she makes a good villian. She's kind of stereotypical but I'm working on making her believable :)

And I'll go back and edit the 'was' part, thanks for pointing that out. And I'll try to fix the spacing, I feel like sometimes people skip over longer paragraphs so I guess I over did it on the stand alone sentances :/

Thanks again for taking the time to review! It means a lot :)

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