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Review:Secret Santa says:
Hello again :)

This chapter started out a little bit confusing. The first paragraph and about half of the next one seemed to be a bit repetitive or something and it made it sort of hard to read. It could just be me, as I’m up later than I probably should be [ :) ], but the beginning was confusing and past that it was amazing!

I was feeling mildly anxious, reading about how everyone was waiting and getting sick of it. I felt like I was sitting there with them, waiting with them for what was going to happen. And really, I should have guessed what it was going to be. I mentioned in my review last chapter that I figured it had something to do with the outside world, beyond the white world, yet I never even took a guess to figure it out. Oh well, it was a good surprise none-the-less!

Also have to say I love Dumbledore’s reaction to finally getting there. And the way he helped the souls, when everyone else in the white world had no idea what to do about them, how to help. Really rather amazing!

Two things I noticed:

“Looking around at the others, I saw that they two had taken on a faded appearance.” ~You meant too instead of two*

“Was is the mist that hung between us?” ~It instead of is

And last but not least, my favorite line from this chapter:

“It was not written, it was not spoken, but it was undeniably true that we had to protect the Orchard, to preserve the white world.”

Once again, not sure why it’s my favorite line of this chapter, but it was just…it was cool. I like the way it flows and how it fits into the story! Great job again!

~Santa of the secret sort

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