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Review:AC_rules says:
Hi there!

You probably thought this review was never coming due to the fact that you requested it a good two months ago - so I'm really sorry about that. Mainly it was NaNo that got in my way, but here I am :)

This is a pairing that I've never really thought of before, but now you've mentioned it I would absolutely love to see what the twins thought of Luna. Just them having an accidental conversation at some point would be well worth the read :)

I thought the very beginning but of the story was quite potent but at the same time I think that Fred and George had such a thirst for life (maybe Fred more so) that is hard to see him so full of grief. Although I don't think the sort of thing you coverin that first bit are impossible, I don't think George could physically exist being that depressed for long. But then you get to the bit where everything cheers up a little later, so that fits in well there :)

On the same sort of note I thought some of George's lines were fantastically in character ('she's a weird one') for a start.. and others just didn't seem very Geoge-esque. The same with Luna, I think you were very very nearly there but not quite. I'm not one to talk as I can't keep characters in character for toffee - but maybe you should watch that :)

I thought the pacing was good, but at the same time I don't think Luna would ever be quite so forward... but the story generally followed a nice time line that I liked.

Grammatical stuff wise, I actually noticed very few mistakes. I wouldn't say it was immaculate, but I thought it generally was pretty solid all the way through. Although I did notice in the last line Fred says 'women' when it should be 'woman' which meant grammatically you ended on a bit of a low note :( But there wasn't any majour reoccouring errors at all - so well done :)

It was an enjoyable little read and I'm glad that you requested (even if it took several years to get your review...). I'm tempted to see if I can find anymore twin/luna pairings. I really like it :)

-AC

Author's Response: Haha, thanks for getting around to this and I hope that you did well on NaNo!

Thank you for this review! It's been really helpful. I think I'll go through this and edit it (one day, when I stop procrastinating) because characterisation is a MAKOR issue with me and Luna is really hard to write - fun, but hard.

Yeah, I'm not overly brillant with grammar, I think that I may find a beta for this story :)


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