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Review:academica says:
Hey! Here from review tag :)

I really like the concept of this story. Marcus isn't written about enough, I think, and I was excited to see that you had a story about him. It seems fitting that he would use something he's good at to enhance his social skills and help mold himself into the pureblood society man his parents want him to be.

You might want to go back and tweak this a little at some point punctuation-wise. I noticed several places where you seemed to have a lot of run-on sentences that would benefit from the addition of commas or separation into different sentences. I noticed a few spelling errors as well.

The second half of this seemed to come on a bit abruptly for my taste. It would probably help if you did a "recap" paragraph that briefly summarized how Marcus had been successful at his new job and enjoyed playing for the team, just as a way of tying the two halves of the piece together. I did think the ending was cute, though - after all that effort to try to better himself, Daphne wound up liking him as he was.

Nice job! :)

academica

Author's Response: Thank you academica! :) I'm starting to see more people telling me the same about Marcus, he needs more fan fiction!

I'm thinking of adding to this one-shot maybe makes it a series of one-shots...I'm not sure but I definitely want to write more about Marcus :)


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