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Review:MidnightBlue_x says:
Well hello there, I'm ElysiumJayne from the forums- You requested a review from me back in August! First and foremost, Sorry for taking so long to getting to you- real life can be annoying sometimes, can't it?

Now onto the review, I find your first paragraph very intriguing though I feel it might make more of an impact with better spacing- I feel it would make it more dramatic and would hook the readers into the story quicker. I'm not sure whether you have a beta reader or not, but if you then you should discuss that with them and see their views on the matter!

On reading the second part, I was slightly confused by the complete change of view- one second you were writing in third person and the next in first? The italics really messed me around though, is Ron thinking about what is being said or something? Once again, I would consider bringing this up with a beta as it is very confusing!

Other than that, I really enjoyed the plot you have set out- I've never read anything quite like it and your characterisation of Ron is great. I'm interested to see who the soon-to-be mother is!

Thank you for requesting and once again, Sorry for taking so long.

x Ely

Author's Response: Hello :)
Don't worry about the wait! I don't mind in the slightest xD

I haven't written Undone for a while as I've moved on to lots of other fics but I'm planning on coming back to it at one point! (hopefully soon!)

The italics need changing! I keep forgetting to do this! I wrote this about 6 months ago when I was new to the site and just wrote randomly ;)

Spacing, italics and alter the thrid-person narative. Got it :) I'll change them as soon as the queue reopens :)

Thanks you for the review :)

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