|Review:||Secret Santa :) says:|
Whoo! Another lovely chapter! I thought you've managed to keep the flow going really well, kept it continuing at a steady pace and kept the action going as well. I liked the muggle class, how interesting! I thought it a bit surprising that they all actually listened to Marlene and followed her orders, but I thought it was a terrific class idea! :P
Oh, I wanted to say that the length of each of your chapters so far has been absolutely PERFECT! I have rarely read such a story where all the chapters are this perfect length! It's not too short, and it's not too long, and it's perfect just for a few events to take place, but nothing too much! So thank you for that! I find that chapters with 5000 words are so much harder to read than 3 chapters with 1600 words each.
I was just about to wonder about interaction between Marlene and other people, so it was great to see that chat with Lily! On one hand, they seem like good friends, but they also seem a bit distant and not very close.. so I think you could definitely show more interaction between Marlene, the other girls and the Marauders, because I still feel like you could start to develop her relationships more ;)
When you say "Strong arms grabbed my waste and legs" did you mean waist? Also, when you mention batman and catwoman - did non-muggles actually know about this muggle stuff? I thought they didn't, but then again, you can do whatever you want, and they do make good witty comments!
Hehe, I absolutely loved this line, "I was getting a free ride back up to the castle." and "You're really warm," I murmered, "Like toast." It's just so.. Marlene to say something like that! (Oh, and murmered should be spelt murmUred.) I'm wondering - will Marlene's 'rebound' guy, be Remus? They seem to have some good chemistry! ;) Can't wait to read the next chapter! I hope you update soon, and that I remember to come back here!
♥ secret santa
Author's Response: Oh, they were all too terrified of Marlene with her knowledge of muggle punishments to try anything! And they realised it was better than listening to Turrell drone on :P
Yay! I'm glad I've got the lengths right. I read some fics with massively long chapters and I'm biting my nails, wondering whether mine should be that long! I try and aim for a minimum of 2000 words a chapter.
You're right, I was gettong worried about this too. I want Marlene and Lily to appear CLOSE close, so thanks for pointing out that. I'll work on it!
Oops, yes 'waste' was meant to be 'waist.' I've read through countless times but don't remember noticing that! Eek!
Well Marlene has grown up in the muggle world and Remus I'm making half-blood. They both must have gone to a muggle primary school-that's how they know about batman etc! :)
*taps nose* I cannot reveal my rebond guy until chapter.6! Thanks for the wonderful, confidence boosting compliments! xx