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Review:Secret Santa V says:
I'm back!

Okay, I still love this story. As a concept, it's sweet and interesting. However, your execution pushes it way over the top from a good story to an amazing and unique story. I can't do it this month because then you might know who I am, but I am definitely nominating this for the Gryffindor story of the month next month! It's just lovely.

I love the way that include just enough information about the barista to really pull us into his world without giving us his life story. I often dislike it when people try to give the "This is who I am" thing in stories, because I end up feeling like it comes across awkward and uncomfortable. You just drop us into days in his life and treat them like normal days in his life, and expect us to go along with it, and I LOVE that style of writing.

I loved the opening paragraphs of this chapter. (Well, and the middle ones, and the closing ones...) Just by describing his reaction to the customers and his employees, you're really getting across to us who he is as a person and how much he likes his job. None of it distracts from Molly and the young man, however - they just fit seamlessly into your narrative. It's so lovely. I love it.

I'm sorry. I'm blathering and repeating myself. You're probably thinking, "My other secret santa is so much better than you, Secret Santa V, they are eloquent and you just fall over your words."

Basically, I really, really love this story.

Author's Response: You would really consider nominating this for the Gryffindor story of the month? Wow, that is just... I never imagined that any of my stories would ever get that honour. I am floored by that. It definitely gives me incentive to get started on the next part, though!

What you wrote about the barista has to be one of the nicest things I have ever read in one of my reviews. It is exactly the type of thing I would say to a writer whose writing I really admire and for someone to say it to me is just... wow. Double wow.

It's a relief that the barista doesn't distract you from Molly and the young man. I think I have gone heavier on the barista part of this than I originally intended, but it's hard not to because he's a lovely character to write.

And, oh, you. You're not blathering or repeating yourself and are every bit as eloquent as anyone who has ever reviewed me.

Thank you so much!
Joop.


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