Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:Beeezie says:
Hey, this is Beeezie, here with your review! I'm so sorry about the delay - my life has been insanely busy lately.

So going into this story, I was very excited. I know that Hermione ended up with Ron, and I don't dislike them as a couple, but I was actually a pretty big fan of Hermione/Krum, and I don't think I've ever read a fanfiction that really centered around them. So yay!

I've said this before, I'm sure, but mechanically, you're a very strong writer. You have excellent mastery of the English language, and you use it to describe a scene elegantly and poetically. I especially loved the first paragraph - reading it, I could very clearly see the scene in my mind. It felt to me like I was remembering a scene straight out of a movie rather than imagining it myself, if that makes sense. Beautiful job.

However, amidst the genius, there were a couple isolated descriptions that felt a little odd. In the second paragraph, the "irises of coal" seemed a little odd to me, as did the description of the window as "fragile."

Those aside, your prose was, as I said, outstanding.

I also really liked your characterization of Krum. There wasn't really anything that went against what we saw of him in canon, and because he was so quiet and introverted, I think that there's a lot of room to work with. I really like that about characters like him - the flexibility they allow writers to have without being completely open books like an OC is great, and you did a great job at extrapolating what he might have been feeling based on his actions.

That said, there were a few points about Krum that gave me pause. He seemed to be quite focused on the fact that he was famous, and at times it felt like overkill. His thinking of Harry as "one of few young men more famous than himself" seemed a little odd - Krum never seemed in GoF to be incredibly focused on his fame, and I don't know that he could have gotten Hermione's interest if he'd really thought of her friends in terms of how famous they were or weren't. Additionally, if you're going to bring up Krum's jealousy - which I think is fine - I would suggest that you have him address or acknowledge in some way that he's feel jealous of two fifteen-year old boys and that he did talk to Harry about it.

That's really my only major complaint. I think that you gave Krum a distinct, likable voice that really fit what we knew of him in the books, and I also liked the way you interpreted his relationship with Hermione. When their relationship is mentioned in fanfics at all, it's typically done in either a "They were deeply in love and never broke up" or a "They were basically just friends, maybe he had a little crush on her, no romance there!" You kept it in moderation, which made it believable. I also thought that the way you described her letter (especially the, "Viktor, I'm afraid") was brilliant.

Looking at this review it feels horribly short to me, but I don't really have much more to say. :( I hope you can forgive me!

Author's Response: Short? No way! I always appreciate your thoughtful, in-depth reviews, and this one is no different :)

I'm glad you can appreciate Krum/Hermione. I, too, feel that they make an interesting pair, but they kind of get lost between all the Dramiones and the canon Ron/Hermione stories. I find his devotion to her kind of sweet, especially knowing that she doesn't love him in the same way that he loves her. You could almost kind of think of it like a less stalkerish version of the Snape/Lily story, with a great deal less drama, of course. Anyway, glad to have found a kindred spirit, and I'm so flattered by your compliments about my writing.

I appreciate your critique as well. I always try to insert as much imagery as I can into my stories, and perhaps I went a little overboard in places here. As for Krum's jealousy and focus on fame, I can see what you're saying. I think I was operating from the mindset of his mild paranoia concerning Harry during Book 4 and his frustration during the wedding scene in Book 7. Still, you're right to point out that he did come to terms with it and recognized that his Quidditch skill was not his only defining feature, and I agree that I could have emphasized more of that to add even more depth to his character.

Thanks so much for your thoughtful review! It seems like a lot of the couples from Book 4 get lost in fanfiction (Fleur/Roger, anyone?) and it's nice to see that others appreciate it when the focus is brought back to those pairings.

Amanda


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 726
Submit Report: