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Review:SilentConfession says:
Hey Uncivilized! i've come for that review you requested on the forums, i'm sorry for the huge delay but it's been a bit hectic around here recently.

I really enjoyed this, so much so that i had to go and read both chapters! You do a lovely job with characterizations and i can really feel the tensions in this family. It seems like a lot of different personalities got thrown in together and they are just trying to make it through. The tensions especially with Candice are especially poignant and telling of her character in general. I liked how you gave them all very distinct personalities as well. Their relationships are very real and i see that happening all the time in real life, they petty fights with siblings like Gemma and Candice in the first chapter. Especially with the displaced anger. Gosh, that was amazingly well done. Elizabeth herself seems like a very interesting character. She seems very strong will and incredibly opinionated, it really helps me envision James's statement from the last chapter actually.

I also really loved the interacting between Gemma and James. James seems so perfectly characterized and how Gemma acted in the last chapter fit perfectly on how Elizabeth described her in this one.

There is something about your writing that i absolutely adore. It's so descriptive and really sets up the scenes so beautifully. I think that is what makes a really good story is the attention to detail and not just the characters. Really, really well done.

I also want to mention the starting of the whole story was so well done and really frew the reader in

They were everywhere.

It's so simple but it really drew me in. It reminds me of that challenge a while ago about epic first lines but yours gave me the chills, probably because i was imagining something very sinister.

There was a few problems with flow and some misplaced words perhaps? For instance

There was something distinctly poisonous about Candice at that moment, whether it was her expression or her words and Elizabeth had to repress the urge to look away.

Should it be but or that Elizabeth had to repress the urge to look away.

Honestly, no other criticisms other than a few flow problems here and there that a good run through would fix. Lovely story and thank you so much for requesting me! I hope you let me know when the next chapter is out
:D

Author's Response: Hi there! :)

No worries at all, December's a pretty busy month, yeah? So, thanks for taking the time to read and review!

Oooh, that makes me so happy to hear. Because it's not immediately clear what the story is about - (which is very much typical of me because I'm all about vagueness xD) - I worried that it might not have been interesting enough to draw people in. I feel all warm-fuzzy now, knowing that I did okay with that because this is a story that I really enjoy putting to words. Especially with the characters that have managed to plant themselves in my mind. To me, writing is all about the characters. I lovelovelove them, so I spend a lot of time planning them - though often times they start to write themselves, in a way.

I'm glad that the anger/petty fights felt realistic to you. I don't have a sister, just an older brother, and I kinda wondered if it was real enough. Because, well, I don't really fight with my brother and when we do, it's not based from anything serious like this it. (And I also fret over everything so, of course, I had to fret over that too xD). Here's to hoping I can keep the characterizations and realistic interactions going. :)

Thank you for you kind words! I'm blushing profusely right now. :$ I love my characters.but I love my descriptions just as much. ♥ And gaaah *flail* I love that you like them and my writing, too.

And you are definitely right about the flow and misplaced words! I just went through each chapter and picked up a few things that I had missed (I don't tend to read my chapters again before posting them...which is bad on my part lol). So, thanks for making note because otherwise I probably wouldn't have done so! XD I'll be sure to let you know! I'm hoping to actually get this story written (because my other has been a flop thus far) and I've got a few bits written.

Thanks again for reading and leaving me this wonderful review! I really appreciate it and the kind words that you've left me with -- I'm smiling like an idiot right now. ((:

Merry Christmas!

-Taylor ♥


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