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Review:SilentConfession says:
Hi! I'm finally here with your review! I'm so sorry it's taken so long for me to get to you! These last few weeks have been so hectic! my computer crashed, i had to then rewrite my term papers and ah! It was hectic! So those are my excuses for taking so long to get to you! I hope you can forgive moi ;D Now, on with the review!

So, i like the premise of this story, how magic doesn't always come by 11 but later. I was actually just thinking if this was even possible the the other day, but i don't see any reason why not. I really liked how you are exploring the idea of the people who are left out. Does she have a different sort of magic? Is that why she was experiencing the headahces? I liked that, although, as far as we know, no other characters feel that intensly when they started magic. So it made me wonder if perhaps she has a different sort of magic, maybe a magic that they train at Hogwarts. Perhaps not since the ships are Lily/James and Sirius/OC, i'm assuming we go to Hogwarts at some point. But this does make me wonder about if there could be magical people who can't be trained with a wand but have some other magic that Hogwarts doesn't accept. Kind of like House Elves or something. Anyway, this is way off topic, sorry. :D

It is also interesting the POV you are working from, it seems at times that all of this is just a remembrance almost. I donít think if that's how you wanted it to be but i wasn't completely against it. But it made me feel like all of this was as little overarching forbidding because i always think that when people remember things itís because they have experienced something traumatic in real time. I think i have probably hit the mark completely wrong and i let my imagination take me for a ride. I think Callum added to this because he just seems a bit off. Almost sinister. Again, not sure if you were going for this, but iím honestly a little wary of him. Is it because heís too perfect (perfect looks AND doesnít follow the typical group think how often do you see that in a character) ?

Another thing i really liked about this story is that Daphne seems consistently written from the beginning onwards. I would have liked to see some more showing characteristics rather than telling but overall i think you are building up her character very well. I'm excited to see how she grows from this point because i think i sort of see a character that can do great things once she accepts her abilities. I want to see more of her because i think there is some great characterization possibilities with her.

A couple of things that i notices though is that is seemed a little jumpy from one scene to the other. It worked to an extent but it felt, to me, a little awkward. Also, i felt like the second scene where she says something like 'at thirteen i could move things with me mind', i felt like if you had used that for your beginning instead of what you used it would have been more of an attention getter. The beginning was very passive and then you hit with that line. It made me feel like i was starting the story again and i might be something you want to consider changing.

Generally though i think you have a great story and i think the greatest bit is just how unique it is which i think will keep people reading to the next chapter.

Author's Response: Hey! I'm so so so sorry about not replying to your wonderful review! This is a mistake I keep making over and over. I check HPFF when I'm bored at work and then when I find some reviews I try to answer then and there but if I see a long review that deserves a good response that cant be typed out on a 2 x 2 screen I leave it to be answered later and in the end I never get around to actually doing it! I'm so very sorry about this. I know how I get when I type out really long reviews and no one answers them for months so I don't even know if they found it offensive in some unintended way :/ Anyway enough of the lame excuses. I'm here with my much apologetic response...

Truth be told I have no idea where to take my protagonist. The idea of someone showing signs of magic at an age later than accepted at Hogwarts popped into my head and like how we all chase plot bunnies I just manically wrote it all down and typed it out. It seemed a half-decent chapter so I put it up at a story and here we are. I do believe Hogwarts in its early years may have had training for different branches of magic but I think currently they follow a curriculum just like any school. I think I'd like to have Daphne have the same power as other children born into magic but since her powers have been dormant for so long they act out in sudden bursts and intense ones at that... we'll see where my imagination takes this :P

I truly love how every reader invariably tells me that Callum is a fishy character as if they flanking Daphne with the same hesitance to trust him. I don't know but it just makes me feel amazing to know that Callum comes off that way :) I have big plans for him!

Thing with first person narratives is it's just easy to tell rather than show so I often tend to do just that. I should really try to provide more interactions and show things from her pov, but I tend to have too much planned for each chapter that I invariably end up 'telling' a part I could have 'shown' Thanks for that I will try and fix it.

I completely get what you're saying about the odd feeling. I'm trying to smoothen it out and I will use you advice definitely to help with that! Thank you so much.

Again, I am SO incredibly sorry to have kept you waiting with this response! You've given me a lot of great advice and even more encouragement and praise! Thank you very very much, I really do very much appreciate this review! Thanks for taking the time:)

~Pen2Paper


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