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Review:Secret Santa V says:
(I don't just want to be generic secret santa, so I decided to give myself a cool nickname.)

So, greetings from your secret santa! You said that you'd specifically like reviews on this story, so I thought I'd start here - and whoa, am I glad I did. This was brilliant.

Where do I start?

I really loved the way the barista's voice came across. It was little things in your narrative - the way he thinks about customers at the beginning, or his calling Molly "a pretty little thing," as two examples - that really make his voice strong. Despite that, you've managed to make the fact that the story is really centered around two other people rather than him work well. I don't feel like his voice distracts from Molly or the young man - in some ways, it puts the focus more firmly on them.

I also loved your descriptions. They really made me feel like I was there, especially with how cold it's been here this past week. Your description of the scene - from the smell of the coffee to the bell above the door - left me wanting to go into that coffee shop and get some coffee. Or just stand there and appreciate the atmosphere.

Ooh, I am really enjoying this! When secret santas are over I will need to add it to my favorites.

Author's Response: Very cool nickname, indeed. Hee.

The barista's voice has been something I have struggled with. I almost contemplated rewriting the entire thing from his POV so it's always such a nice feeling to read that a reader thinks his voice shines through. I absolutely adore writing him and I like that you picked up on the little things about him that I so love writing about!

I'm also glad that his character doesn't distract you from the real story, the one about Molly and the young man. I was scared about that so it's nice that you think it works!

That last paragraph of your review is just... that floored me. It really did. I don't know how to respond. I try so hard with my descriptions and for you, a reader, to come in here and tell me that you could almost feel the atmosphere is just... humbling. It's amazing what the power of words can do and how they can connect people. Wow.

Thanks so much! God, I sound like a broken record, but it's the absolute truth! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Joop.


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