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Review:magnolia_magic says:
Hi! I'm finally here with your review!

I thought there were some really great elements in this chapter, and I enjoyed reading it. One of the things I love about this story is that each chapter makes me think...you do a good job of keeping the reader engaged. Most of this comes from your suspenseful plotline and rich description. Overall, I think this chapter is my favorite yet!

That said, there were some spots in the chapter that I had issues with. I'll just get those out of the way first:

-James and Sirius' insults to Snape (the "He exists" thing, and the scene where they hang him upside down in DADA) seem to come straight out of the books. I would really like to see more original lines from them, so those parts don't feel recycled.

-I was confused as to what Harry's feelings toward Snape actually are. When he first sees Snape and is nervous about facing him, it seemed like Harry had a lot of respect for him. But then, he was "affronted" at the suggestion that he felt something for Snape. To me, the word "affronted" implies that Harry has negative feelings toward Snape. That scene in particular left me confused. I would suggest finding a way to make it more clear what Harry's feelings are about Snape...whether they are positive, negative, or a mix of both.

-I won't point these out individually, but I did see some word choice errors and run-on sentences.

Okay, I'm done with nit-picky things now! Now comes the fun part: gushing over things I liked :)

I am loving your characterization of Harry. You write him so well in this story. Him playing the hero in the Snape situation highlights his generous nature, and standing up to his father shows how much he's grown. You've kept him true to the books and matured him at the same time, and I love seeing that :)

I am also loving the way you describe Harry and Ginny's relationship and their thoughts about the whole situation. At first I was frustrated that they weren't getting along, but you write them so well that I've gotten over that. Now I'm just enjoying seeing them try to figure things out.

Overall I think your pacing is good, but in future chapters I'd like to see the Xenon plotline take center stage. To me, that is what makes your story stand out, so you should spend some time focusing on that. I like the way you incorporated him into this chapter...it adds some of the mystery that I love so much about this story, and now I'm so excited to read on!

Wow, I think this is the longest review I've ever written. Sorry about that, but I wanted to make it worth your wait! I really enjoyed reading this. Keep it up! :)

--Maggie

Author's Response: Hey! Thank you so much for this awesome review! I'm really very glad that you liked this chapter!

Firstly, about the parts you mentioned. I just noticed fully how much those parts are like the books. I hadn't really realised that earlier! Thank you so much for pointing those out! =) It's sometimes really hard to keep it all original and I'm glad you helped me see that there. =)

About Harry's feelings: well, he's actually confused about Snape as well. I wanted to give the impression of him being unsure as to how to respond to seeing Snape however with our comments, I think I didn't exactly succeed here. I think I'll try incorporating that in the later chapters.

Yay! I love reading reviews that mention so many good and bad points all together =) Thank you so much. Personally, I thought that the idea of Harry and Ginny having problems was a bit shaky but I think I pulled it better than I'd hoped. It's nice to see your response to it =) Thanks!

And yes, I know what you mean about Xenon. Don't you worry =P He's coming up pretty soon. =D

And it's alright about the long review! I'm honoured that it was my story on which you posted your longest review =)

Thank you SO so much Maggie! I always LOVE reading your reviews =D


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