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Review:adluvshp says:
Hey there!

Here for the second review :)

I like your plot and your narrative style. The way you switched in and out of flashbacks was quite good. I can see good characterization too, and I can see some character development along the way which is good. The scenes/narrative flowed well, you had a grip on the writing which is good too.

I have got two pointers though. One: The grammar (especially the spelling) is really messy all over the story. I really suggest you get a Beta to take care of the grammar/spelling issues. It's quite a lot and it gets distracting; sometimes I can't understand the sentence because of the off-grammar. I understand everyone's grammar cannot be good (I'm not perfect myself) but so I suggest it's best you ask for a Beta specifically for the grammar issues and you should be fine :)

Second, during the last flashback (the one when she "noticed him" and they're dancing and etc.) is somewhat confusing. The reader can't really understand what's going on. I suggest re-reading that part and doing some edits. I'm sure you can manage it because it's not something really major :)

Apart from these two iffys, I think the chapter was good. Over all, your writing is nice and you have a lot of potential.

Good work!


~Your Secret Santa

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