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Review:In The Shadows I Dwell says:
Hi!
It's InTheShadowsIDwell from the forums here with your review for the Review the Person Above You Game! :) I have to say, I don't actually read much set in the Maurader's Era, I'm usually Hogwarts or Post-Hogwarts by choice, but I always love the insight each individual author gives into this era as we can only really go by what is said and what information is provided by the flashbacks. I'm also not generally a Lily/James shipper usually only Lily/Snape or Lily/Sirius, but I love the insight you've provided into the beginnings of their relationship, I can't imagine it being plesant being followed by the likes of James Potter and constantly being asked out and I think you've really captured this well!

I have one small thing that I noticed, when Lily called Peter a "Little weakling." I was wondering whether this was slightly out of character. It might be just me, but I always imagined Lily as kind figure who rather liked Wormtail, her letter seemed to indicate that she believed him to be a good person in DH anyway. Although it might just be me. I guess it just seemed a little OOC, but I can be rather picky at times. On the other hand, I loved her reactions to James, in particular the list at the very end, I believe that sums him up entirely just based upon his behaviour in this chapter.

It was well written, although I feel there could be a little more description to space out the dialogue a little that's very minor and your grammar and spelling overall were excellent! :) A very interesting beginning to your story indeed! (Plus I have to admit, I'm a bit of a secret Miley fan...) Keep up the good work!

~Ash

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'm completely open to constructive criticism and I'm very glad that you gave me some. I totally understand your comments but my Seven Things Lily is a bit complex. In my eyes she started out your typical arrogant teenager, hence the 'little weakling' reference, but the events of Seven Things changed who she is and how she acts so that you get the adult Lily, that was always such a kind, nice person, hence the DH letter. But thank you so much anyway! I too am a Miley fan! ~S xx

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