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Review:niceone says:
First of all, centimeters, huh? Secondly, I like the way you wrote Bella. No, scratch that, I love it.

Bellatrix isn't that challenging as an adult; but a child? That requires subtlety, creativity and lots of hard thinking. She's not evil yet, but there're certain mean undertones to her personality; she has two younger sisters she's fond of; she's only just discovering what it means to do magic. That's a tough picture to paint, and you did well!

The one thing you might want to fix, though, is the chapter title; there should be a comma after the word 'prologue'. It's a little thing, but I do believe, that chapter headings have to look neat.

All in all, I think it's a lovely opening! Good luck with the story -)

Author's Response: Aww, thanks! It was quite hard to get the beginning right - working out what activities a seven year old magical child would do when left on their own in a house? How would they act? - but once that was done, it got a bit easier.
I've read some fics where Bellatrix is using the Unforgiveables when she's thirteen and things, and I definitely wanted to stay away from that, because I just don't think that would happen, you know?
I wondered if there should be... I think if I fixed it, though, I'd have to re-submit the whole chapter, and I've got a lot of stuff I need to put into the queue - but if there's a pause in my queue for the queue, I'll do it for sure!

Thanks for the lovely review!
Aph xx


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