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Review:blueirony says:
Please go out and get this published. Kthxbai.

No. Joke. I would never leave a review there. Tempted, because I think that I have really said all I need to say, but I want to gush. And rave. And make you blush. Because this is nothing short of fantastic.

I actually feel like I have just read the first part of a new series of books that I have gotten from the library. You know, those books about people who don't fit in a la Scott Westerfeld, those books that you really shouldn't be reading but do because they're just so good. Yeah, those. This is like one of those. The only way it's different is that I have to basically stalk your author page for new updates. Which is going to kill me, mind you. But I am prepared to do it.

This easily has the makings of a fantastic story. I know I'm gripped. And I hope to God that everyone else in HPFF world is gripped. Because if they're not, they don't know what they're missing.

But that was the fangirl part of my review. Now comes the proper part of my review.

1. Introduction of the story. Brilliant. You don't begin with a long few paragraphs where the character describes themselves to us. No story should ever start like that. You just jump straight in. And that is what is gold about this. I don't need to know what Daphne looks like. In fact, I don't think you have described her once. But I feel like I know her. And that introduction was nothing short of gripping.

2. Character building. Daphne is brilliant. She is your typical teenager, struggling with all the things that teenagers struggle with, but she's different and so relatable. So, so, so relatable. You have so well-rounded. I don't know what she looks like. I don't know what she wears. But I don't need to know that. I know the type of person she is and to do that in just two short chapters is amazing.

Callum is another interesting character. He's kind of creepy, but not in a creepy way, if that makes sense? Like, he's always kind of there in the background, lurking, yet he doesn't seem bad. And I kind of already love him. So, yeah. I'm sold on him.

3. Word choice. There is nothing glaringly out of place in this. All the dialogue is in order, as is the prose part of the story. Your writing is mature, yet still fits in with the age of your characters.

4. Flow and pace. Fast but I like it that way. This story calls for it and you have done well to keep it interesting. I will say one thing, though. The last part of this chapter could be expanded a little bit. Don't get me wrong, I love the fast pace but I think her answer of "Yes" is a bit too fast, I think? I think she needs to have a little bit more of an inward debate before she answers. But that is me being really nit-picky.

5. Plot. Well, you certainly have me hooked. What I'm most interested to see is how you tie the Marauders into this. The only indication of that is in your story description. And I don't know where you are going to take this. But I am so there for the ride. Front seat. VIP pass.

I really hope you update this soon. It would be a shame if you don't because I am really excited for it and I am going to go slightly very nuts waiting for the next update!

Joop.

Author's Response: HOLY MACRO!! OH. MY. GOD!
I /am/ blushing! you should see the grin on my face right now!

I can't believe this! This is AN AMAZING REVIEWWW! ARRRGH!

Thank you SO FREAKING MUCH! This is the kind of review that will make me just sit and write this story because I know it's worth it now :) Seriously the praise you gave me is beyond anything I've ever heard for any material I've ever written before!

I totally know what you mean about books with characters that don't fit in and are infinitely addictive! Arrrghhh! I'm horrible at updating but I promise I will try to get the new chapters out soon! Also in the next few you'll get to see a bit of the Marauders beginning to enter into the story.

I'm really glad you find Daphne such an interesting character! And relatable!!! Thank you so much!
Really all I can say is THANK YOU ! :D:D:D:D

I'll definitely try and update soon :)


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