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Review:Houlestar says:
Hmm... Dumbledore's a really tough character to write. I don't think you quite hit the nail on the head with this one, but it's close enough so that it doesn't feel too jarring. (There are some stories where he just feels so OOC it's painful... not the case here though).
I like the last line. That was very good. Tehee.
As to comments in my previous reviews, 1) yes, the grammatical errors are punctuation/capitalization/etc. surrounding dialogue. It's not that big of a deal, but it'd make the story feel much more polished if that was taken care of. Of course, it's up to you. 2) When I said Severus felt weak, I meant that the transference of Lily onto him was weak. He feels like a very hollow character, now, without much motivation or real development. Perhaps it's because you've spent so much time with Lily, but I think that Severus's-Lily personality could definitely be strengthened so if feels more real.
-Houlestar

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked what I did with Dumbledore, though I kind of wonder what you think was missing. (I'm not saying my depiction was perfect, far from it. I'm just curious.)

Thanks for clarifying your comments from the previous reviews. I may go back and change it at some point in the future when I'm not working on other material. I probably won't worry about it too much, since it doesn't seem to bother too many readers. As for Severus, not a bad point there either. I guess I was in the canon mindset, where we know little about Lily and much, much more about Severus. However, since both are living in this story, perhaps I could have fleshed that out more. If I write more Snily, I'll make sure to do that.

Thanks! I always appreciate constructive criticism.

academica


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