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Review:Woodrow Rynne says:
What could possibly go wrong?

Somehow, that line doesn't bode too well, now, does it? :P

Fantastic chapter once again! :) I simply adore your characterisations, seriously. They are so spot on! Especially Lily's sarcastic attitude- I'm in love with her 'voice'. I think your pace is very good too. Not too fast, nor too slow. It's perfect to hook a reader.

Anyway, I loved that Harry told them straightaway. That there wasn't a build-up or anything. It was so different from other stories that I've read and it's exciting as hell.

One thing, though- somebody claims to come from the future and tells them stuff and they just believe him, just like that? Despite Harry's hair and eyes, don't you think they should be more suspicious? Considering the dangerous times they live in?

Also, there were some tiny things I spotted:

"I can bloody well use it if I wanted to!”-- Shouldn't it be 'want' to?

'It was a miracle that half of the female population at Hogwarts fawns over him and Sirius.'-- again, tense confusion. 'Fawned' would fit better, wouldn't it?

Apart from the above mentioned stuff, I still love your writing style, and am SO intrigued to read on! I hope you complete this fic! :D

Author's Response: Hi there! I'm glad you seem to be enjoying this so far. Hmm, I never considered that... I'll try to smuggle some suspicions in at some point, probably through Lily. xD

And verb tenses are the bane of my existence. Seriously. I'll go over and re-edit them soon! xD

Thank you for the review! I'm definetely planning on completing this. The next chapter has been started on; I just need some more inspiration. :)

~Khanh


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