Hi! I'm SO sorry for how long this has taken but these last few weeks have been so mental here with finals and final projects. I felt bad though so i wanted to get at least one review done for you!
Okay, so, i really liked this story, i think it was an interesting take on this couple. I honestly have never read them before in fanfiction so it was refreshing and a nice introduction to them. I liked how they seemed to have real feeling for each other once. I liked how she felt so special at being Mrs. Malfoy when they were married, it was a nice detail and touch. It gave a us a good idea that there was once love between the two. I've never really thought of them in love but more brought together by their parents. So it was a new perspective for me.
I also liked the post-war Narcissa. She seemed so drawn and unlike the regal woman we know. But i think it fit with how the war affects people and i think you really described it well.
I think Draco running off for a while fit his character as well, i think he would like to get away from it all for a while to think and forget.
I was wondering about why Lucius was so cruel to her, i know prisons can change people but i was hoping for some explanation. Plus, the Dementors weren't there after the war, were they? It just seemed like a dramatic difference between the loving man to this one who yells and is very callous with his wife. Also, her devotion came on a little too quickly, 10 months of not bothering to see him and suddenly she's yelping her i love you's and being the perfect doting woman. I think i would have really liked to see some of the feelings she felt during those moments where she felt perhaps betrayed or angered of his past aggressiveness. I think that would have really made this one-shot stand out and make us feel even more.
About Lucius himself, i feel that you have parts that are brilliantly characterized, he was a fallen man and i think you captured his coldness fairly well. I also feel though that you were trying to make us feel sorry for him? Or sad by his death? and their lost love? But i didn't really feel it. I felt like there needed to be more explanation on his part of why he acted like he did so that i, as a reader, would be happy about his conversion at the end. But i wasn't, and maybe it's because i have a different perception of Lucius, but i'm willing to be convinced otherwise but i felt like that was missing. I think that would make me feel like her devotion to him at the end was more real.
Overalll, i think you have a nice piece but don't be afraid to explore some of the darker feelings. I like the ending though and how she closed his eyes and giving him her last kiss, that was really effective and very vivid. You have a really great tone too, i don't know if i've ever mentioned that in my reviews, but you do, writing is clearly something you're called to do :D
Author's Response: Hey there!
I know it took me ages to respond to this, but thank you so much for taking the time to read and leave such a nice long thoughtful review on my story!
I am glad that it was a new perspective for you, how they were in love and such, and that you liked it :)
Also relieved to know that the post-war Narcissa didn't come off as OOC and that you think I portrayed the war effects for her nicely, and for Draco as well. That makes me feel nice.
About Lucius being cruel, I think the war, the defeat, and the prison would do that to him. Also Narcissa didn't go from being totally indifferent to suddenly loving, remember she wrote to him sincerely for all the months she didn't visit. In my mind, she didn't visit him anymore because after all she was a pure-blood woman and she had some dignity about herself. Yet she loved her husband a lot so she made sure to write to him even though he didn't reply. Her writing to him continuously shows her love, concern and devotion to him. I will work on editing the fic and getting my point across more clearly.
Thanks for all your comments, I will work on them when I improve the fic, about both Lucius and Narcissa, and the feelings as well :)
I am flattered to know that I have a great tone, and my scenes were vivid, and that writing is something I'm "called to do"! That totally makes my week!
Thank you so much for your generous, helpful and amazing review!!