|Review:||Violet Gryfindor says:|
Oh my gosh! I know that I wasn't sure what to expect next in this story, but in my wildest dreams, I never would have expected this! And yet I feel silly for not thinking that such a conflict was inevitable - the tensions between her and Sirius, and between her role in both the Order and as a Death Eater, had to come to a head at some point. But this... wow!
To begin, I'm going to backtrack to your opening description, which, I wanted to say as soon as I read it, is beautiful. Perhaps the fact that winter is soon starting makes me yearn already for spring, but I loved the image of Lily sensing rebirth in the world just as it was occurring in herself. You know, you could probably write a one-shot extra of Lily and Snape's time together, if you really wanted, just to provide more of the details that, for plot reasons, you couldn't do here. I can tell how much you love writing them together just from that paragraph near the beginning. :P
The battle scene was well-written, with a slight level of confusion that such scenes require to fully reflect the speed of the action. They're difficult scenes to write, and I think you pulled it off, showing both Lily's surprise and her ability to defend both herself and Snape. Yes, I disagree with Snape - she did, after all, kill one of their attackers. Snape had a faster reaction time, which makes me wonder how much he had expected such an attack as an eventuality, a result of his relationship with Lily (and he must have been on guard ever since Narcissa's death). She, on the other hand, did let herself slide into a safe space, naively thinking that she couldn't be found, that the Death Eaters wouldn't come looking for her. Her surprise kept her from taking control of the battle, but killing Sirius should have made Snape trust her more, if anything.
Your characters are human! And that's a good thing. But it doesn't stop me from thinking them both silly idiots for acting like they are. The stress of the situation is making Snape irrational and Lily weak, and I really, really hope that this schism won't send either of them into further, and more extreme, irrational action.
With my luck, that's just what will happen. If it was me writing, I'd do something really nasty. :P We'll see if you're as cruel to your characters as I tend to be.
Anyway, I really enjoyed this chapter and think that it's one of the best yet for this story. It makes me super excited for reading the final one - another bit of procrastination shouldn't hurt, right? ;) This turned out to be a very long review, and I apologize for that. Your story makes me too excited, I think.
Author's Response: I'm glad you liked the opening! It was a pity to make things go dark so quickly after that, but it was a nice little respite for me and the characters, a foray into the possibility of happiness. I've tried to cultivate some semblance of sympathy for Lily throughout this piece, and so I wanted the reader to want her and Severus to be happy at the beginning of this chapter. It's interesting - although she's supposed to fill his canon role, I feel like I've discovered more about her rather than him in writing this. I've realized how different it would be for a female in that position, with the constant sexual tension and the male-dominated society. I never expected that!
I re-wrote the battle scene before posting this, because I've never felt particularly apt at writing them, so I'm glad it came out well. It is meant to be confusing. And I agree with you that Snape did overreact here. I was trying to get at the sense we got from canon about Lily being so hurt by his betrayal that she refused to even hear him out after the fact. Now, what he did to her was obviously awful, and I can understand her point of view, but I did want to convey that sense of hopelessness here.
They are human, and that does make them become sort of stupid, doesn't it? I think the times probably had that effect on many people from that era, the continual sense of danger. Lily is clinging desperately to him and he's learned to look out for himself. I wonder what you would have written? Hah. Being a shipper and this being my first "real" piece that focuses on their relationship, I couldn't resist giving them a happy ending. I think I'll know that I've grown up a bit when I can write a not-so-happy ending for them and be okay.
Your reviews are always a pleasant surprise! If this makes you excited, that's great to hear.