And I'm back for round 2!
Woah, I never imagined Hogwarts in the way you described it; it's like an entire different place. Who knew description could change the entire perception? Makes your story different or should I say makes your Hogwarts seem different? Haha. It's a good change =) Well most of the stories I read had this same old description of Hogwarts and now you're actually the first one I know who has actually created a Hogwarts that can be known as the next generations' Hogwarts. Well done! =)
I would like to mention some things that call for some attention. I like how you reflect your characters' feelings through weather but in order to maintain some realism in your story try describing their feelings directly instead of taking a longer route; instead of depending on the weather you really should focus on what they're actually feeling. I hope I'm making my point clear. I mean even though it's inspired by classical novels, mix it up with the modern literature; actual Hogwarts scenario and give it your own touch. I hope you give it a thought and work on it. =)
I loved the replication of Shakespeare's Balcony scene. The transition was simply amazing and the best part? It actually seemed appropriate in a Hogwarts setting. Good job! Though, I felt that you got carried away. Well actually? I won't blame you. The scene got me absorbed in it as well. I mean while reading it I almost forgot that it's Rose/Malfoy and NOT Romeo and Juliet. Just make sure you don't lose yourself to the extent that you forget who your actual main characters are. Though, you sure seemed to be realizing it in the upcoming scenes and fixed it to some extent =).
I am glad you didn't drag the whole Malfoy/Rose relationship by keeping it a secret; I actually enjoy seeing both of them being so open about it. Especially Malfoy, his answers were very entertaining. =). Also, Rose for having the guts to tell James, now that's her; bold and confident.
Really well done up till now! I hope my review helped you! =)
Author's Response: I'm very sorry for not getting back to you sooner with these responses - these are the best critical reviews I've gotten in the long time, if not ever, and I wanted to give them the time and effort they deserved... but then I forgot to come back to this story and edit it as you suggested. I'll still have to do that before I write the last chapter, just so that everything ends consistently. That won't be as soon as I planned, but I should respond to your reviews before they sit for another ungracious month.
Your points on overdoing the Romeo & Juliet theme (or foundation) are excellent, and I'm very glad that you mentioned them, as well as explaining exactly where they occur. Even without looking back into the chapter, I know what parts you're referring to - they're ones that I got carried away with while writing, a kind of automatic writing, I suppose, and it both jars the flow of the action and immerses the story in too much Shakespeare, making it less... mine. It's one thing to recreate the balcony scene in a new way, but quite another to force the characters into roles that don't exactly suit them. It isn't doing them justice, and perhaps that's why I've been struggling to finish this story off. I wanted Rose to be a dark, selfish character, but if she's too busy being "Juliet-esque", there is going to be a clash resulting in too many inconsistencies. That will be the hardest edit, but one that will make the story much better and easier to make sense of in my head while thinking about this story. You lighted on the one thing I think that I needed to feel more positive about this story again. :D
Thank you very much for your compliments as well! I'm really glad to hear that you liked the descriptions of Hogwarts - more like gratified actually because I so rarely write stories taking place there. That's probably why it seems like a different place because I'm not used to writing about it, nor am I used to placing so much emphasis on its description. In this story, though, the castle is almost a character, a living entity that works to help Rose and Scorpius foster their romance. I would have loved to have made this chapter into something longer, if I had the time, further developing the romance and the atmosphere. However, it could have become more cliched that way, too.
Anyway, thank you again for your wonderful help! When I finish the ending, you're definitely going to get credit! :D