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Review:javct says:
javct45 from the forums, here with your review :)

I liked this story :) It's hard to image one of Fleur's children making a mistake because Fleur was so perfect but alas, Dominique did!

I'm not too good with grammar but, reading this, it seems really well written and I couldn't find any grammatical mistakes. The story is very easy to read and the plot, so far, has been good - one of the main reasons why i like it is because we don't know who the father is and, in most stories we find out in the first chapter.

One thing I suggest may be to be a tad more descriptive especially when you were describing what the dinner scene was like. It just makes the story just a bit easier to read and to imagine what the scene is really like, and in your case, it shows just how 'out of it' Dominique is when everybody else is ecstatic and happy. Thats just my opinion anyway :)

The characterisation was really good :) I've never written a next generation story before but the characters are basically OCs so I can't comment on them much but I loved Fleur as a mother.

Onto the next chapter!!
*Jaz, 9/10

Author's Response: Awww thankyou (this is my first ever requested review and I am Happy) I agree, I will have to look over the dinner scene and make it more detailed! Thats a great idea :D
Yey someone commented on Fleur. She will be alot more important later in the story and I wanted to get her right so I'm glad you liked her!

Thankyou this review has boosted my mood
x


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