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Review:Barryium says:
Hi again. I think that your story has some good potential which I would love to help out with. I'm not sure if this website offers story beta services as I haven't found any yet, but maybe I could just help from the sidelines - like an irritating voice in the back of your head, or something. Lol.
I'll start with the small terminology error in this chapter about the "petrificus totalus" aka the full body bind, if this hits u anywhere (the foot, head, right index fingernail) your WHOLE body is petrified. It may be more prudent to use the leg locking curse which is "Locomortis", this would disallow Draco to move efficiently but still give him the ability to talk, etc.
If you'd prefer not to have me critiquing any of your chapters just tell me and I'll shut up :) Tho i still am thoroughly enjoying your story, update soon please! :D

Author's Response: Of course you can help! I'll give you an idea of what is going on via PM - I would love help.

I wanted to use Langlock, because I thought that was the more better one to use (god knows why) when I found out its actual use, I was like "Dammit!" So I used Petrificus Totalus, thus putting him in a full body bind. I think I need to go over ch.2... Crikey :( I've been too busy, today was the first day in about four days that I was able to use my laptop, school is horrible -shudders-

I would love your help! And I most certainly would not like you to shut up! I love reviews, especially when I have ones that tell me to improve cos I'm such a crap author :(


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