Your story is amazing! And so are you!
The characterisations are amazing. You captivated the characters we knew from the books and not many can do that. I like the way you made an argument between Belllatrix and Narcissa about Draco's 'future'. And of course, as always, Narcissa's maternal instincts went on.
The descriptions are very very tense -in a good way. The words kind of sink into your mind and then you just imagine that you're in the corner or something watching Dobby look for Pettigrew/the rat.
The flow was great and I didn't really think it was weird when it came to the ending bit. The way you ended the story was interesting, you kind of left the word 'yes.' hanging in the air and leaving the rest of the events for the reader to imagine. (yes, I know how confusing of me.)
The pace was fine, I couldn't comment on it as much as I would love to since there's no second chapter but if it did I'd say that your story pace is balanced.
I like the way you gave that kind of 'tense' situation in the story.
Love the story I think I'll favourite it,
Author's Response: Whoa! Now that's a way to start a review and give a wake-up call to the writer! Thank you very much - I don't know how else to express my wonder and gratitude for those compliments. They are very, very appreciated! ^_^
It's great to hear that Bella and Narcissa turned out well - I don't usually write characters so often featured in the books these days, not to mention ones on the darker side of the equation, so I wasn't sure if I'd captured them right, even after I'd referred to "Spinner's End" a few times (then again, it's fun just to read that chapter over again :P). They're a challenge to write, but amazing to write together!
Ooh, I like that about the descriptions drawing the reader in that much - watching the whole thing going on before them, not necessarily from Peter's point of view, but somewhere similar, watching him, watching Dobby, watching the witches - there's a lot of watching in this story, I just noticed that now.
I'm glad that the ending didn't seem off in any way - I rushed when I wrote it and just wasn't satisfied with how it turned out. Yet again, this is a story that sounded much better in my head, and didn't execute so well on paper, but it's just me again, over-criticizing myself. The only thing I liked was having "yes" as the last word, and I'm so happy that you commented on it! Readers are meant to ask "yes, what?" - what is Peter agreeing to? Certainly one of the things is to give information, but it's not actually said. I love leaving things hanging a bit on short-stories, mostly to get readers thinking, and I'm glad that it worked here. ^_^
Anyway, thank you again for the fabulous review! It means a lot that you liked this story, even enough to favourite it!