Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:foreverfleur says:
Ok--this was good too and you still have me hooked but there were a couple of things I wish you had expanded upon.

The relationship between Angelina and George--was spot on. I could see her busting through his front door and just yelling at him at the top of her lungs to get his life back on track. But--and this is mostly credit to you as a writer--I just wanted to see more. It was to fast and I felt that you could have slowed that interaction down a bit, nuanced it as you are SOO good at doing and it would have added a lot to the pacing and intricacy of this chapter.

The other thing that I wished you had clarified a bit what the jump in time? I absolutely loved the idea of the handle on the clock fading. The clock is perhaps the most iconic thing about the Weasley household and that Fred's handle would disappear was a wonderfully telling detail. I just was a bit confused as to how this section related to the top section 'in time' that is.

But otherwise--I absolutely cannot wait for the last two chapters. I'm sad that there are only two left! But I am so glad I tagged you. What a great story!!

Author's Response: Oh no- you got to this chapter before the updated version of it was validated. I'd had a few comments on this before and so I've added a few scenes to this chapter (more indications of the passing time, more details on the George/Angelina relationship) that will hopefully satisfy the need for expansion. I guess I missed including those scenes in the first place because in my head it was all worked out... I do agree with you about how their interaction could have been slowed down and I tried to do that in the newer version. Hopefully you'll read the newer version soon- it's been in the queue for several days now.

I'm glad that you liked the Fred's hand fading- I definitely agree that it is an iconic item in the Weasley household.

The next two chapters will be up as soon as the queue allows. I'm so glad that you tagged me as well- I really appreciate your reviews!


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 407
Submit Report: